My Journey with Jesus

Great Faith

2012-01-26T17:08:00.005-05:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about faith as I've been reading Matthew & Acts. There are some amazing stories about lame people walking, sins being forgiven, blind people seeing, people being raised from the dead, storms being calmed, and demons being cast out of people. In each of these stories, someone had faith that God could do something that was impossible.

As I read these stories, I wonder why I don't see similar things happening today. Yes, I hear about these stories happening in places like the Horn of Africa and China - but here in Memphis...? And so I've been thinking about why its not happening. Is it because I don't have faith that God wants to do awesome amazing things?

In Matthew 8, a Roman centurion comes to Jesus asking Him to heal his servant. When Jesus says that He will come, the centurion responds by saying "I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed"(1). He went on to say that he realized that Jesus had authority and therefore, would not need to be physically present to heal his servant. Jesus responds by first marveling at his faith and then saying, "I have not found such great faith with anyone in Israel" (2). Then He heals the servant.

First of all, in this story, I find it interesting that a Roman (not Jewish) centurion came to Jesus to intercede on behalf of his servant - not his wife or child. In the end, the servant is healed. Yet, we don't know anything about the servant, if he even believed that Jesus could heal him - all we know is that his master had faith to appeal to Jesus for healing.

I love Jesus' response to the centurion's request. He "marvels." There are only two times that Jesus marvels about anything. The first time is here - where Jesus marvels about the centurion's great faith. The second time is when Jesus was not able to do any miracles in his hometown because of the people's lack of faith. "He wondered [marveled] at their unbelief"(3).

I wonder how often my lack of faith limits God's work. I wonder whether I don't see God doing miracles today because I'm not asking for miracles. I wonder if God is marveling because of my great faith or if He is marveling because of my lack of faith.

Jesus says, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you"(4). Jesus compares God to a good Father who loves to give good things to His children. Yet, how often do we really ask God for big things? Are we content with small prayers and small things?

I want great faith. I want to see God do miracles, so I'm going to start asking Him for miracles. Will you join me?

(1) Matthew 8:8, (2) Matthew 8:10, (3) Mark 6:6, (4) Matthew 7:7

Kissing the hand that has afflicted me

2012-01-10T22:30:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure why it takes me so long to learn certain things from God. Every time I think I've learned to trust Him, He brings something else into my life to test my faith. Apparently I haven't learned this lesson yet...

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to trust God utterly and completely - not for what He gives but for who He is. Would I truly be satisfied in God alone when I'm actually alone? When I'm lonely? When I'm confused? When people have turned against me? Would I be content to live in perfect fellowship with my Lord and Lover when all other friends leave me? Would I be obedient to the call of God when it didn't make any sense?

Sometimes I wish my life looked differently, that things went as I planned. Yet, the more I've thought about this, the more I've realized that this would be awful. Yes, it life might be a lot easier now but that's not what I'm living for. I'd rather have the struggles and the pain and the loneliness - along with a deeper relationship with my Jesus.

God is Sovereign. As Piper describes this, God's Sovereignty means that He "is in ultimate control of the world from the largest international intrigue to the smallest bird-fall in the forest." God is not only Sovereign, He is also a merciful loving Heavenly Father who is seeking the lost and giving good things to His children. This means that God is in complete control of everything happening and He wants what is best for us.

Therefore, when I feel lonely or disappointed or frustrated with what's going on in my life, I find peace and joy in the fact that these things are good gifts from my amazing Father. I know that He is allowing these things for a reason and I can trust Him.

When George Mueller's wife was dying, he prayed that God would heal her. When she died, he said, "I bow, I am satisfied with the will of my Heavenly Father, I seek by perfect submission to his holy will to glorify him, I kiss continually the hand that has afflicted me…Without an effort my inmost soul habitually joys in the joy of that loved departed one. Her happiness gives joy to me. My dear daughter and I would not have her back, were it possible to produce it by the turn of a hand. God himself has done it; we are satisfied with him.”

I want to "kiss continually the hand that has afflicted me" and be utterly and completely satisfied in God alone. Please pray that I would trust my loving and good Father. I want to learn this lesson...

2011-12-04T19:11:00.005-05:00

"He loves Thee too little, who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake" St. Augustine

I don't know about you, but trusting God and loving Him for who He is [and not what He gives] is something I struggle with. It's hard for me to be completely and utterly satisfied in God alone. Its easy to trust and love God when things are going well, when there aren't any conflicts or disagreements or stresses. It's completely different to still trust and love God when your life is collapsing around you and you have no idea whats going on. It's hard to trust and love God when you truly feel the weight of the brokenness of the world on your heart.

Lately, during the Advent season, I've been reading and thinking a lot about the story of Jesus. Even though you probably know the story, I'd like to share some of it here.

Meet Mary, a young teenage girl who is excited about her life. She is engaged to marry a guy named Joseph and is preparing for that day. One day, an angel appears to her and tells her that she is highly favored by God. She is told that she is going to become pregnant and have a son, even though she is a virgin. Her son will be great, will be called the Son of the Most High, and will inherit the throne of the great King, David. Even though Mary has no idea how this can happen, she believes what the angel is telling her.

Soon Joseph finds out that his fiancee is pregnant. Because he cares about Mary, he struggles to decide what to do. Clearly, she must be crazy or lying because its not possible to be pregnant AND be a virgin. If he publicly condemns her, she will be stoned to death. He decides that he will send her away privately and hopes that people will forget about her. As he is struggling through this, he goes to sleep and has a dream where an angel appears to him and tells him that what Mary is saying is all true and that he needs to believe her and name the baby Jesus.

As soon as he wakes up, Joseph takes Mary to be his wife.

As I've been thinking about this story, a few things jump out to me. First of all, it's amazing to see the faith of both Mary and Joseph. Mary believes what God says and is willing to be gossiped about as a single pregnant girl. Joseph has the faith to believe that Mary has been faithful and she is telling the truth. He is willing to marry Mary and therefore, become part of her scandal. As soon as Joseph realizes that Mary is telling the truth, he marries her without doubting or waiting to make sure he's doing the right thing.

Another thing that's amazing is that God, the Creator of the Universe, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords chose to come into our world in such a lowly way. He not only came as a son of a poor servant girl but He also chose to come as an illegitimate child. Amazing.

So, like I said in the beginning, trusting God can be really really hard sometimes. He never said it would be easy - but He did say that all things would work for our good and His glory if we follow Him.

I want to trust God like Mary, who believed what God said even though it sounded absolutely impossible. I want to trust God like Joseph, who sought God when he didn't understand and who acted in faith immediately when God made it clear to him. I want to be satisfied with God alone.

Thankful

2011-11-24T10:04:00.004-05:00

Since its Thanksgiving, I thought I'd continue with my traditional post about what I'm thankful for. God has been so so good to me this past year and I'm most thankful for Him.

God continues to teach me more about Him and what the Gospel looks like. I have seen the goodness and compassion and patience of God. I have also seen His justice and His hatred of sin. God has been teaching me more and more about what the Gospel is. Although it starts with salvation when we confess and believe in Jesus, it involves so much more. God sent Jesus to live among us, to love us, and ultimately to die for us. He wants to restore broken communities and broken people. He wants to redeem us. I want to be part of bringing His Gospel and His kingdom to all nations and all people.

These are a few of the things I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

Patients who pray for me
My roommates, Jennifer & Shelley, who challenge me to live in light of eternity
Worshipping God through music & prayer
Running
My amazing family
Coffee night with the girls
Books that make me reevaluate the way I think
The Phillies - even if they didn't make it to the World Series this year
Community
Knowing that people are praying for me
Being part of starting a church at my house
Talking with friends about life - especially Jessica & Kelly. Thanks girls!
Seeing God working in my neighborhood
Working with students who do rotations in Memphis
People stopping by my house just to say hi
Late nights at Shelby farms
Chai tea
My friend, Jean, who makes me laugh and keeps my focus on God's best
Learning guitar
People I work with
Studying the Bible
Meeting new friends
Discipleship time on Saturdays at 7am
Having my sister & brothers come to visit me
Soccer in the Mound
Riding my bike to work
Redbirds games
Being friends with Zech, who encourages me by the way he lives for Jesus
Going to concerts
Working at a place where I can share Jesus
Book clubs
Having Dr. Chuck in Memphis for a week
Airplanes
Being raised by parents who love Jesus
Hiking in the woods
Guys in the Douglass house - who encourage me to invest even more in my community
Playing piano
My girls - especially Alexis, Cannille, Christina, Jameka, Jasmine, Kimberly, Lay-Lay, Nisha, Sheronda, Quinterria, and others. I love you all!!
Seeing how God is working in the guys in this community
My church
Living simply
Celebration services
Praying together

I'm so grateful for each one of you whom God has brought into my life! Hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Live Dangerously and be reckless.

2011-07-25T23:55:00.002-04:00

Where are the young men and women of this generation who will hold their lives cheap and be faithful even unto death? Where are those who will lose their lives for Christ’s sake — flinging them away for love of him? Where are those who will live dangerously and be reckless in his service? Where are his lovers — those who love him and the souls of men more than their own reputations or comfort or very life?

Where are the men who say ‘no’ to self, who take up Christ’s cross to bear it after him, who are willing to be nailed to it in college or office, home or mission field, who are willing, if need be, to bleed, to suffer and to die on it?

Where are the adventurers, the explorers, the buccaneers for God, who count one human soul of far greater value than the rise or fall of an empire? Where are the men who are willing to pay the price of vision? Where are the men of prayer? Where are God’s men in this day of God’s power?

Howard Guinness

Love and Brokenness.

2011-06-13T22:59:00.004-04:00

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

C.S. Lewis

Lately I've been thinking a lot about injustice. pain. suffering. The more I see the world around me, the more saddened I become about the brokenness. I don't even know what to do about it.

I've also been thinking about love. What it means to "love extravagantly" as I Corinthians 13:13 says. What it means to love without holding back. To love without boundaries and walls and protection around my heart.

I want to love as Jesus loves. To give up my life, my dreams, my desires, my security, my pleasures, me. Because He gave up everything for me.

In the story of the Good Samaritan, I was the man lying on the side of the road and Jesus stopped and rescued me. Now, as I'm walking along the road, I need to rescue others who are lying on the side of the road and show them the love my King showed me.

I need to be broken by the brokenness around me so I can truly love as Jesus loves.

God is Enough

2011-05-14T00:54:00.002-04:00

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
Rascal Flatts

Sometimes I bargain with God. “If I follow You, God, I expect You to give me the things that I want and need. I’ll do my part... I’ll serve you. I’ll go where you want me to go. I’ll care for the poor. I’ll love the unlovable. I’ll do all these things for You, God... I just ask that You’d please do just a few things for me.”

No, I don’t actually say this. I don’t tell God what I expect Him to do for me; yet, I often put unspoken expectations on God.

I don’t expect a perfect life. Not a safe life. Not a life free of trials. I’m not expecting God to give me an easy life. Or even a life of happiness...

Yet, I believe that because I’ve given up “so much” for God, He will reward me by giving me what I want. The more I think about this, the more disgusted I get with myself. If I’m following God because of what I’m expecting from Him, I’m simply using God. If God is a means to an end, and not an end in Himself, everything I’m doing for Him is worthless. meaningless. rubbish.

There’s a reason I’ve said everything up until now and I’m going to get specific. Its easy to generalize, much harder to be specific when it cuts to the heart. On March 13th, my boyfriend broke up with me. Even though it was not completely unexpected, it still hurt. a lot.

Over the past two months I’ve been wrestling with the question of why. Why did he break up with me? Why did we even date in the first place? Why did God allow this? Why did God bring John into my life? Why...

I realized that I was using God. All my life I waited, I kept myself pure, I pursued my relationship with Christ instead of messing around with guys. Finally, God brought a guy into my life whom I could respect, who loved God, who was passionate about serving the poor and going to share the Gospel in places where they’ve never heard of Jesus. He seemed to like me and we were on the same page about so many things. As we got to know each other, I started to like him more and more. Then, it all came crashing down.

As I wrestled with God, I realized that I had put expectations on God. Because of my “sacrifices” for God, Him giving me the man of my dreams was just a small thing I expected Him to do for me. The more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve realized how wrong this is. Instead of pursuing God because He’s God, I’m following Him because of what I can get from Him.

The past months have been a time of heart-searching and there have been many eye-openers. No, I definitely wouldn’t have chosen to go through this painfully difficult time; yet, I am thankful for how God is using it in my life.

Last night I was talking with one of my girls about the foundations of our heart. We were talking about how its a continual struggle to keep Christ on the throne and to keep everything else off. Even when we think we are serving Jesus, we need to examine our motives behind it. Are we serving God because of what we expect from Him? If so, we really aren’t serving God at all. We are using God, and most likely we will end up disappointed.

I’m choosing to follow Christ even if it means being disappointed. lonely. hurt. rejected. Through the heartbreak, Jesus has become all sufficient. God is enough. I will be satisfied with Christ alone.

House Church

2011-04-14T04:17:00.004-04:00

As many of you know, I've been part of a House Church here in Memphis for the past six months. You may (or may not be) wondering why and how does that work and so I thought I'd explain.

First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my church. We meet in a living room. We include Americans, Burundians, and Kenyans. We have elders, but not a pastor. We sing praise to God in English, Swahili, and Kirundi. We often eat together after our service. We send missionaries from our church to hard places in the Middle East and North Africa. We share the Lord's Supper together. We are part of a group of six house churches in the neighborhood.

So, why house church?? Although I definitely don't think that traditional church is wrong, I do believe that small organic churches have a lot of benefits. In Acts, believers met in people's homes for times of fellowship and worship. They lived in community with one another - eating, working, living life together. Church was not something they did, it was something they were. Throughout church history, something changed. Over time, the church became less about people and community and started to become a place. an event. People starting going to church.

Buildings require money - and lots of it. There's the initial cost of buying (or renting) a building. Plus utilities. Plus maintenance. Plus landscaping. Plus renovations. I could go on and on. Point is, buildings take a lot of money. Money that could be used to care for the poor, widows and orphans. Money that could be used to send missionaries to hard places. Money that could be used to live out the Gospel in our neighborhood.

For the past few weeks my church has been having some trouble with money. Not the struggle that most church have, however, in that they don't have enough of it. Our trouble is that we had too much money in the bank and we needed to decide how we could give it away. It made me happy as we shared ideas about ways we could provide for needs that we've seen in our neighborhood and throughout the world. It made me even happier to talk with people afterwards and tell them that my church decided to help provide for needs they have. This is how the Gospel should be lived out!

Since we don't have a pastor, we don't have a traditional sermon during our service. Typically, one person is in charge of the lesson and we generally have a lot of discussion about what we're studying. This has forced me to prepare and study ahead of time so that I'm ready to share with my church. Because of the open discussion, we are able to discuss applicable tangents or questions that come up in the passage. Right now we are studying I Peter and I'm learning a lot.

Because house church is small everyone is forced to participate. You can't go to church, sit in the back, and leave as soon as its over. One reason I'm learning to play guitar is so that I can play for church. Right now we sing favorite songs like Prince of Peace, Blessed Be Your Name, and Mambo Sawa Sawa acappella because nobody plays. If you happen to speak English and Swahili, you'll probably be asked to translate at some point. You'll be asked for your opinion in a discussion and you'll probably be asked to read or pray at some point. No hiding in the back!

Hopefully this gives you a better understanding on house church. If anyone has more questions, please let me know! And if you're interested in learning more, come visit or find a house church in your area. :)

janine

Note to self: next time, don't get the mango tea at 9pm. Its caffeinated. :/

Things that have made me happy this week...

2011-03-17T19:21:00.003-04:00

Reading Psalms
Riding my bike three blocks to work
Warm weather
Running
Long talks with friends
Ice-cream
Rascal Flatts
Knowing that people are praying for me
Lent
Strawberries. And blueberry pancakes.
Hugs
Being honest
A letter from my roomie
Remembering the good times
Knowing that God is a Sovereign good God.

Life in the Hood

2011-02-10T15:11:00.002-05:00

So I haven't updated this in awhile. Sorry. I've been kinda busy. Too busy to update. I want to share some stories so you have an idea what my life is like.

New Years Day. Standing on our porch at midnight. Gunshots filling the air. Laughing with friends about how we love living in the hood. Feeling safe knowing that we are in the center of God's will.

Everyday kids filling our house. No privacy. No time to relax. But, we love it this way because without them, we'd be very very very very very lonely.

Orange Mound Outreach Ministry. Ministry filled with love, support, and kindness. A place where kids are welcome from 3-8pm Monday through Thursday. Learning about the Gospel.

House church. Americans and Africans meeting together worshiping God in English, Swahili, and Kurundi. Discussing God's Word and how we can apply it in our lives.

Superbowl party. A room filled with Green Bay and Steelers fans. Shouting. Plates filling the air after every important play. Tons of food. A lot of excitement.

Community. Random times of sharing and praying together. Shared meals. Shared thoughts. Praying and thinking about how God is working in mysterious ways.

Snow in Memphis. Two inches will cancel work and school for the entire day. Crazy drivers not knowing how to drive properly. Plows don't exist. Neither does shoveling because the snow melts by 2pm.

Hope you enjoy some snapshots of my life. Special thanks to TayTay for helping me write this. :)

Still Thankful

2010-11-25T01:52:00.003-05:00

Exactly one year ago today I wrote about what I was thankful for. Reading over that list made me smile because of the associated memories. So much has changed in the past year and I want to again share what I'm thankful for.

My list. In no particular order.

Christ's love for me tho I don't deserve it
Bonfires
Unlimited texting
Visits from my family
Long talks with friends
Praying for miracles
Baking with kids
The Holy Spirit
Chai tea
My amazing house
Dating an awesome guy
God being patient with me
Cooking dinner in my kitchen
Trusting God even when I don't know what He's up to
Memphis BBQ
Community
Bible study with the girls
Weddings
Perspectives, and how it changed me
Bike rides with my brothers
Singing in Swahili
Bowling at midnight
Friends who challenge me
House church
Signing PA-C after my name
Ritas water ice
Reading a good book
Laughing till it hurts
A fulfilling job
Soccer games in the park

Happy Thanksgiving! Remember that God loved us [miserable prideful sinners who didn't want anything to do with Him] so much that He willingly sacrificed His only beloved son, Jesus Christ, in order for us to have a relationship with Him. Thats something to be thankful for :)

God is Sovereign

2010-11-04T01:06:00.003-04:00

Even over the little things.

Over the past few weeks, God has been showing that He is Sovereign and truly knows what is best for me. If you could have told me a month ago that I would still be waiting on my license, I would have probably been rather discouraged and wondering why I've been in Memphis for over five weeks before I could start working.

Yet, God is Sovereign. Even over Tenn. Board of Medicine.

I haven't been discouraged and I'm not wondering why I'm here because I've seen God's hand at work in some amazing ways. After getting everything unpacked and settled into my house, God suddenly burst open doors for me to move again. Its almost been like a dream [or a movie] seeing the pieces fall into place. One day I had no prospects of moving or a roommate; then, within a week I was planning to move into a super cool house with an even cooler roommate! Since I couldn't work, I had time during the day to tear down floral and striped wallpaper, patch holes, paint walls, and clean the house. I even had the time to sit for 2 hours in order to get the electricity turned on [please pray the house passes inspection!].

So, I'm moving about ten minutes from where I've been staying into a primarily African American neighborhood. My house is right behind a ministry center for that neighborhood and my roommate has been volunteering there for the past few months. I've already gotten to know a bunch of the kids and I LOVE it!! I'm so excited about getting involved in God's work there!

Another blessing of waiting on the license is being able to go to the Global Missions Health Conference next week!! :) Since my license is taking so long [and might not be here before the conference], I'm able to go! You have no idea how excited I am--especially since I'll get to hang out with my Philly friends and see many of the students who were in Memphis with me over the summer.

Sometimes I look at things from my perspective and wonder why. Yet, I fail to ask the more important question, what is God up to? This month has been an incredible time of seeing God's hand clearly at work. He is Sovereign and that makes me happy.

Life in Memphis

2010-10-12T22:18:00.005-04:00

As of September 27th, 2010, I have officially moved to Memphis. As I drove into the neighborhood I've come to love in a completely packed car, I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God for bringing me here. When I left here in August, I didn't know if I would be back.

Friends helped unload my car and over the past two weeks I’ve finished moving unpacking everything in my little room/apartment/house. :) This weekend Danielle came to visit and we put up lots of pictures. It’s quite homey here now.

So you may wonder what I’ve been doing while I'm waiting for my Tennessee license to start work as a Physician Assistant. Well, please don’t worry; I haven’t been sitting around much... Visiting with friends. Hanging out with Burundis. Painting. Going to the Zoo. Taking kids to the park. Bible Studies. Bonfires. Phillies games. House Church. Biking. Playing music. Living life.

It’s been great having some time to relax [and recover from PA school] before starting work. It has also given me the opportunity to spend more time with people in the neighborhood which is awesome! God is Sovereign—even over the Tennessee licensing board—and He knows what He’s doing. I’m glad.

Will try to update more often now that things are settled. And now for some pictures…

My current residence:

Walk in the front door...

And here's the kitchen:

Since being here, I've been told multiple times that "Janine" is a Burundi name [which I think is pretty awesome!]. So, in the spirit of discovering my African roots, two of the girls braided my hair.

Some of my Burundi friends after they finished my hair:

Hope y'all have a blessed week!

A Letter from Grandmom

2010-09-15T22:14:00.004-04:00

On September 2nd, my grandmother went to be with Jesus. Although her passing was somewhat unexpected, I am so thankful to know she is in a better place. She was not trusting in her good deeds to get her into heaven. Instead, she put her faith in Jesus Christ trusting that His death on the cross took away her sins.

As my Mom was going through her things, she found a letter my Grandmom wrote forty-eight years ago. It means a lot to me and I'd like to share it with you.

April 17, 1962
To my children: Lynn, Billy, and Lisa

As you journey through life, I pray, that your first seeking will be to find God; and when you have found Him, let Him be in control of your life. There is no other way to true happiness and abundant living until you have found Christ. "He is the way, the truth, and the life." Read your Bible and learn. Pray without ceasing. May prayer be as much a part of your life as breathing.

Do your best in all that you do. Never be discouraged if you fail at something, but rather learn from this failure and go on to better achievements. Every great man or woman has had their failures, but they were victorious over them.

Be not proud or prejudiced. Be humble and remember that all men are of God. Treat them equally. Each of you...can give something to the world. Something beneficial-no matter how small. With God as your helper you will not fail. Do your best in all things. "Perfect love" strive for. Tribulations will not escape you, but you will overcome it.

Obsessed

2010-08-16T01:14:00.009-04:00

Yesterday on the plane ride to Arizona for vacation with my family I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I've been wanting to read it for a long time since I'd heard so much about it. It definitely lived up to and exceeded my expectations.

We all know people who are obsessed, which Chan defines as having "the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic." I want to be obsessed with Jesus Christ. Here are a few ways Chan describes the lives of the obsessed:

People who are obsessed with Jesus aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God’s kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.

People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him.

A person who is obsessed is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.

I want to be obsessed with Jesus.

Post-PA school!!

2010-08-15T03:29:00.003-04:00

Its been three weeks since updating my blog and a lot has happened. Have been too busy living it to write about it though... :]

I am a Physician Assistant. Haven’t become “certified” yet, since I haven’t taken boards, but that should happen, Lord willing, on September 2nd.

Friday the 13th of August will forever be remembered as an epic day in my life. At 3pm, I received my long white coat and became a PA. On this date I also made the final decision to accept a job offer I’d received to work at Christ Community in Memphis.

The last two weeks have been a time of faith-building. On July 29th, I was offered a job in Memphis. I was given a month to let them know my final decision. I prayed a lot, talked with family, and sought counsel from [many] friends. I prayed that God would clearly show me His plan.

I prayed that He would open the doors I should walk through.

“Ironically,” none of the people I talked with encouraged me to stay in Philly after hearing about Memphis and how perfectly it would fit with my long-term mission goals. Second interviews never happened. Friends who are going to part of something incredible in Philly had clearly different visions and goals than God has given me.

Therefore, I will be moving to Memphis. :] I am beyond excited to see how this decision will glorify God and advance His kingdom! I am excited to become a small part of what God is already doing in Memphis.

Please pray that God would continue to complete what He has begun. Passing boards. Housing. Getting licensed in Tennessee. Please also pray for my family as I make this transition to living far away from home.

Thank you to all of y'all who have prayed for me and have given me Godly counsel! God has definitely used you to speak to me. Thank you.

My life in Memphis

2010-07-25T19:43:00.007-04:00

I thought it was time to update my blog. So, thats what I'm doing. :] I don't have anything deep to say, but I thought I'd share some pictures and talk about what I've been doing here in Memphis.

This is the Hebron House, the guesthouse for students where I'm living while in Memphis. Its in the "hood" in a neighborhood where families from Christ Community are living, working, and starting house churches. Jon & Stacy live upstairs and students rotating through the clinics live downstairs.

Because there are so many awesome people living in this community, there is always something happening. During the final FIFA game, we had about 30 people over the the Hebron House to watch the game. There are birthdays, Bible studies, girls/guys nights, parties, and more that happen multiple times a week. Perfect for an extrovert...

During the mornings, we work with the doctors in one of five clinics throughout the city of Memphis. This has been my first family medicine experience and I LOVE seeing adults, kids, pregnant women, etc. all in one morning. :)

Then, in the afternoon, we head to Urban Farms, a farm that Christ Community started in the neighborhood. They will be starting a Farmer's Market in September. I don't think I've ever been so sweaty in my life...

Our project for this day was to dig a ditch to bury one of the power cords. Its too bad we didn't think of this project right after it rained so the ground wouldn't be so hard. :/

Meet my fellow students and roommates, Mary and Sarah. Mary is a third year and Sarah is a first year med student. They've been here the entire time with me and we've had a lot of fun together!! Mary makes me laugh pretty much all the time I'm around her. Sarah is super sweet but can get fired up if you mention basketball.

Meet Jenny & Josh. Jenny just graduated and is trying to apply to PA school while she's here in Memphis. She's going to be starting a missions training program next month. Her boyfriend, Josh, is a fourth year med student and is trying to decide between surgery or anaesthesia (or family med?) for residency. Because of his prior experience in engineering and construction, he is the leader for our work at the farm.

Being part of the house churches has definitely been a highlight. I've been part of the church that meets at Dr. Donlon's house. Because one family is from Tanzania, the service is in English and Swahili. :) I love hearing them sing!! Since there are relatively few people, the service is very interactive and the speakers typically stress application of what we've learned. After we finish the service, we eat lunch together. I'm definitely gonna miss it!!

Hope that you've enjoyed hearing a little bout Memphis. I have lots more pictures on facebook so please check them out if you're interested! :) God bless!

One month.

2010-07-15T00:08:00.002-04:00

In o.n.e. month I will have graduated.

I’m not sure exactly what to think. Excited? Scared? Relieved? Nervous? Wondering what to do with my life? Ever since I started kindergarten at age five my identity has been defined through education. My grade. My classes. My major. When you’re in this type of system for eighteen years, it’s somewhat intimidating to realize this phase of life is almost complete. At least for now.

Like most people, I like the familiar. I definitely enjoy adventure and discovering the unknown (hence being in Memphis); however, it’s sometimes a little scary to venture out of my comfort zone. Graduating. Finding a job. Moving. Working at a “real” job. Lots of change in the near-future.

Since finishing OSCEs, I started re-reading A Tale of Two Cities, one of my favorite books ever. When I read about Dr. Manette who was “recalled to life,” I wonder how it is possible for someone to live like he’s a prisoner even though he is free. Why would someone choose to sit locked up in a dark room making shoes when he could be exploring the world in freedom?

With graduation from PA school approaching, I’ve definitely been thinking a lot about medical school. There are multiple reasons for this which I’m not going to go into today; however, I’ve realized that perhaps one reason is because being defined by my education is more familiar. I can escape and refuse to l.i.v.e. by giving the [lame] excuse that “I have to study.”

That’s pretty pitiful. It’s like being voluntarily imprisoned.

Being in Memphis as I finish up this season of life has been awesome. I love being part of a community where people aren’t defined by their education but by who they are. People are doctors, teachers, nurses, dentists, artists, and more. Yet, there are many people here who I really don’t even know what they do. Later I’ll find out that this person is a doctor. Or that person is farmer.

Education and occupations are important but I’m learning that they aren’t what define a person. There is so much more to life than where a person works or goes to school. I am excited to [soon] have more free time to become part of community and simply l.i.v.e.

Extremely excited for Friday the 13th.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I still might go to med school. However, it won’t be because I’m trying to escape life. :]

Written in the Hebron House in Memphis, TN.

Alone, or so you think.

2010-07-10T20:22:00.005-04:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about Elijah. He was a prophet who was full of faith - trusting God to raise a boy from the dead, provide food during a famine, and send fire from heaven. James uses Elijah as an example to show that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish great things (5:17-18). I want to have Elijah's faith.

Yet, Elijah felt alone.

After his [literal] mountaintop experience, Elijah wanted to die (I Kings 19:4). He was being chased by the wicked Queen Jezebel and he felt alone. He thought he was the only person following God. His aloneness overwhelmed him and he felt life simply wasn't worth it anymore.

I think God's answer to Elijah is interesting. At first God doesn't seem to address his problem - instead He gives him a task to anoint a king. Then, almost as an "oh, by the way," God tells Elijah that there are seven thousand Israelites who have not worshipped Baal. In essence, God is saying to Elijah that although you think you're alone and the only one serving me, you're wrong. My plan is bigger than you.

When we hear this story, we sometimes think this is the end. But its not. After God tells Elijah that he's not alone, he proves it by allowing him to "find Elisha" (I Kings 19:19). As Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, "Two are better than one" because they accomplish more together, they help each other when one falls, they warm each other, and they fight against evil together. We know that Elisha was this type of companion for Elijah.

So, why did I share all this?

In thinking about moving into Philly, I felt alone. I guess I knew that there were others - but Philly is a really big city. I love the idea of living in community; however, its hard to do that alone. Because something like this was already happening in Memphis, it would be a whole lot easier to just become part of that.

When I told God about my concerns, He asked if I was willing to be alone. If I had the faith to obey even if I was the only one.

Then [this is the super awesome part], He has started to show me that I'm not alone. In a somewhat miraculous way, people started talking to me about their desire to do that exact thing God was asking me to do. SMI Philly happened. And I even met a couple in Memphis from SC who feel God is calling them to Philly. God is doing a great work in my city.

I still don't know exactly what this is all going to look like. I don't know where I'll live, what job I'll have, who I'll live with, or how this is all going to work. Yet, I know my God and He is pretty amazing.

written in Republic Coffee shop in Memphis, TN

Living in the Moment

2010-06-30T22:09:00.004-04:00

I'm happy to be home as of 3:00pm EST Tuesday. It's been great seeing my family, visiting friends, and having cooler weather. :]

Yet my heart is torn. I wish it were possible to be more than one place at a time. Because that's not possible, I'm trying to live passionately and completely wherever I am. Not wishing for the past or longing for the future. Living without reserves, without retreats, without regrets.

I felt sad leaving Mississippi. Not the heat or the humidity - but the people, the relationships. As I left on my last day, I almost cried [and those who know me know that I almost never cry]. It is unlikely I will ever be back.

I've had such great memories in that place. I will miss it.

And then Memphis. . . :) Spent the weekend there with some awesome friends. Running a 5K [and winning my age group!]. Watching FIFA 2010. House church. Cooking. Mountain biking. Laughing a lot. Can't wait to get back there next month.

Home. Family. Seeing friends. Cooler weather. Toy Story 3 with my brothers and sister. Talking about life after school. Hearing kids playing. Church family.

Excited bout this next week. Tomorrow I will coat my two mentees in the PA class of 2011. They have finished their first year of PA school and I am so proud of them! They will be starting on their first rotation next week. I know they will be awesome.

God has blessed me in so many ways. I'm excited to see what He has planned.

Life down South

2010-06-20T23:00:00.002-04:00

I thought it was time to update my blog. I've been working a lot in the emergency room which has been good. Since I last updated, I worked 12-hr shifts nine out of ten days. Fortunately, I've had a little time to relax this weekend and catch up with friends. :)

Life down south is so different. In general, people seem more open. More transparent. More willing to mesh work and personal life. People are more hospitable. And they do way more than is expected. I like that.

For example, one of the nurse practitioners Avee and I've worked with invited us to sing in his church choir. So, on Wednesday we went to choir practice and this morning we sang with them. After church we went out to lunch with the NP, his wife, and another family. As we were leaving, we were invited to come and swim at this family's pool. We didn't even know them; yet, they not only invited us over but brought out a cooler of drinks and even wanted us to stay for dinner. Would this happen in Philly? I don't know - but I know its never happened to me.

I don't want to bore you cuz a lot has happened in the past two weeks so I'll just give some favorite memories:

Shooting a GUN! Something I've wanted to do for a long time.
Listening to Indian music played by Avee on guitar and the GI doc on sitar. He is one of two people in Mississippi who plays.
Diagnosing a Type A aortic dissection. As soon as I looked at the CT scan, I realized that this was causing my patient's chest pain.
Running in our neighborhood. FYI: if you're ever in Mississippi, its best to run just before dark [or in the morning]. Don't run at 11am.
Meeting a friend after her college orientation.
Lots of suturing.
A nurse offering to pray with a patient before surgery. First time I'd ever been in a situation where a health-care provider [other than me] prayed with a patient.
Singing in the choir.
Hanging out in the OB and surgery clinics.
Studying by the pool. Well, its probably more like sleeping by the pool haha!
Talking with friends bout life after school.

In less than one week I will be back in Memphis. And, in exactly nine days I will be back in Philly for a bit. Please continue to pray that God would open/shut doors so that I'd know where He wants me to live and work after I graduate in fifty-four days. :)

If you have facebook, check out my "mississippi twenty-ten" album cuz I've added pictures.

Community

2010-06-07T22:51:00.002-04:00

Do you ever wish for the "good old days" when neighbors knew each other? When people spent time on the front porch? When life was more about being part of a community?

I do.

It sometimes seems that such communities don't really exist anymore. This weekend, I've found out that they do. And that makes me very happy.

I spent the weekend in Memphis with an awesome group of people from Christ Community. I went for Community Transformation Training (CTT) which was taught by Dr. Chuck. After spending the day learning the nitty gritty concepts, I would go "home" and see it lived out. Sitting on the front porch. Community soccer games. Hanging out.

I still don't know what God wants me to do with my life after school. However, I do know that I like Memphis. A lot.

However, one thing I love about Memphis is the community. And I wonder if we could create this in Philly. I know I can't do it alone; however, if there were others who are passionate about caring for the poor and sharing Jesus--and who are willing to give up security, prestige, and comfort--I think God could transform our city. I would like to be a part of that.

Please let me know if you would like more info about CTT and if you would want to be a part of transforming Philly.

Happiness

2010-06-01T22:55:00.003-04:00

1200 miles. 20 hours. I am back in Mississippi.

The trip down was pretty awesome. Stopping to visit a friend for breakfast in B-more. Staying in a hostel. Touring Knoxville at night with a new friend. Gelatos. Wedding dress shopping in Alabama. Arriving "home" and settling into "my" room.

Wish I could expand on the above but I have to be into work early tomorrow. Definitely ask for the stories behind the sentences if you're interested. :]

Today was awesome. Back at the hospital. Since I'm trying to be short tonight, I just wanted to share a few things that made me happy today. . .

Being called J9
Hugs from old friends
Awesome nurses
Making someone's day cuz I'm not a liberal Yankee
Learning the treatment for SVT. I had 3 patients with it.
Suprising friends because I'm back south
Giving good patient education and instructions.
Lots of country stations on the radio.

Well, I have a long day tomorrow and then I can't wait for Thursday cuz I'm going somewhere pretty cool to see some super awesome people. Miss you!

Goin South, y'all

2010-05-27T22:43:00.003-04:00

Guess what?! I'm going to be in Mississippi again in four days! :) And Avee is coming with me again. Can you tell I'm super excited?!

Now that I'm [done] my master's paper and presentation and [done] perspectives, I may actually have time to update my blog on a more regular basis. Of course, when I now have time to do things with people, I'll be eighteen hours away. Oh well. . .

I'm trying to squeeze as much as possible into the next 56 hours. Baseball games. Phils. Run with the boys. BBQ with friends. Pack. Maybe a photo shoot. Sleep [specially since I'm driving the entire way]. I'm going to miss my family and friends.

Next post will be from the south. :]

Something to Listen to...

2010-05-17T16:44:00.002-04:00

A friend emailed me this link. It fit perfectly with Perspectives and my last post so I thought I'd share it. Its called "An Evangelism Approach so Old it Appears New" by Jason Porterfield.

Its only 34:09 minutes. Listen to it when you're wasting your time on facebook. ;)

Let me know what you think.

Thoughts on Perspectives

2010-05-13T23:14:00.003-04:00

I just read the final article, filled out the final question, and sent in the final review for Perspectives. Its a good feeling--like turning in the final paper or walking out of the room just taking the final test. Perspectives was huge commitment but so definitely worth it.

Perspectives is a class that challenges how and what you think. Its overwhelming at times to read article after article, answer deep questions, and realize that what you've always believed might not really be true.

In the last few weeks, I've come to realize just how much my culture has affected the way I think. This is something I always knew. I just never realized how much my individualistic American "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" conservative Christian culture affected the way I think. I am going to share a few things here.

DISCLAIMER: Although it may seem like I've gone off the deep end, I don't have the time right here to describe each point in detail. Six months ago (i.e. before Perspectives), I would have never considered some of this. I would love to talk with you if you have questions. :)

Here goes...

Our Gospel presentations are often extremely individualistic and people-focused instead of God-focused. When we share the Gospel as a "get out of jail free" or as a "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life" I don't think that we are really telling the whole story. The Gospel is focused on JESUS and our presentations should be focused on Him as well.
If a Muslim becomes a Christian, it is expected for him to leave the mosque and then be subsequently rejected by his family. YET, we don't often require Catholics to leave the Catholic church, or even Baptists to leave a liberal Baptist church. I am not saying that a Muslim Christian should continue going to the mosque but I wonder if it is always necessary for him to leave.
It is not necessary for a follower of Jesus to identify himself as a Christian. There are repercussions for denying Jesus, but not for renouncing an identity formed by the world.
Generalizations are generally wrong.
If we think the church is what we see in America, we are putting God in a box. A really small box.
The church is not a building or a time. The church is a community of believers learning to love and follow God together
A leader of a church doesn't have to be a full time pastor. Nor does he have to be someone who has spent years studying the Bible. It can be an ordinary man working an ordinary job who has a heart to love and obey God.
Group decisions for Christ (People Movements) are important--especially in cultures which are not individualistic like Americans. When we witness to people in cultures with strong family and community emphasis, we must be sure we aren't using the Gospel to undermine and pull people away from their community.

This is getting long. Sorry bout that! Even though this is kind of random and just touching the surface, I hope that it makes you question what you think. At least a little.

If you are interested in anything mentioned above--or, if you simply want to be challenged--you should take Perspectives. I wholeheartedly recommend it. :)

On Running

2010-04-05T21:14:00.007-04:00

With the amazing warm weather we've been having, blogging hasn't been the top priority. That's because I'm training for a half marathon on April 24th! :) Finally getting around to #6 of the year. Today as I was running, I was thinking bout some of the things I've learned as I've trained. I want to share some with you. I'd like to compare it to running the Christian race - since there are a lot of parallels!

The more you run, the easier it gets. Five or so weeks ago when I started training, I really didn't think I could run 13.1 miles. I was dying after running/walking four to five. Tired. Sick. Not cool. Today I ran about five with no problems and it felt great. The same is true in the Christian race, the more you train, the easier it is - to defeat Satan, to live for Christ, to spend time in prayer and Bible reading, etc.
No matter how much you run, the hardest part is starting. Now, maybe I'm biased because I live at the bottom of a hill, but getting ready to run and starting out up the hill is always the hardest part for me. Same thing is true as we decide to live for Christ, to change something in our lives - getting started always seems to be the toughest part.
Its easier to run up a steep short hill than a gradual long hill. Hills are tough regardless. But its way easier to run up the short ones, even if they're steep, than to power through the gradual inclines that last forever. In life, I would prefer the short intense trials to the long drawn out difficult times.
Choose your running companions wisely and you will be challenged. I've had the privilege of running with my friend, Rachel. Privilege - because its something she rarely does. :) Since I'm used to running alone (or having my brothers tag along on their bikes/scooters), it is a pleasure to run with a friend. Makes running a whole lot easier. And, if you choose someone who is slightly faster than you, you will find that you can run faster and further than you thought was possible. [Thanks Rachel!] As we travel along life, we must choose traveling companions that will challenge us to do more than we thought was possible. We might not always have the pleasure of running, or living, alongside others. However, I think that our times of loneliness make us treasure the moments of companionship even more.
Sometimes you just run to finish. I am not planning on winning the half marathon. I just want to finish. Eventually I may be running to win - but at this point, my goal is to complete the race. Sometimes in our Christians life, we just need to finish - and finish strong. We may not be the best or the fastest - but that's okay as long as we complete the race.
Accountability is key. Some of you may notice that I often post statuses stating that I'm going to run. Please don't take this as me bragging about being able to run! As I've told some of you, I do this because I know that once I "tell the world," then I'd better put on my running shoes and go do it. haha! Same is true in our Spiritual life. We need accountability!!! Tell your friends and family about what God is asking you to do - cause then you'll probably do it. If you keep it to yourself, nobody will ask if you've done it.
Seek help from the experienced. When I decided I want to try and run further than I'd ever even thought of running before, I talked with my multiple marathon runner friend, Tracy, to see what I needed to do. She helped me to figure out a training schedule, told me I could do it, and continues to cheer me on. [Thanks Tracy!] When we catch a vision for a God-sized task, we need help from those who have already done impossible things. They will become our best allies because they know what we're going through and they want us to succeed as well.
Ask people to join the race, you never know who will say "yes." I guess this kinda goes along with number seven but its a little different. I wasn't looking for races to run - I decided to do it because my friends, Samantha & Jeremy, were excited about it and asked if I wanted to run it. Same is true in the Christian race - most people aren't searching for the race. They need someone to tell them about it, to ask them to join.

So those are just a few of my thoughts on running. I heard before that running is addictive...I think I'm starting to believe it. :) Someday I want to be able to define myself as a runner. Don't think I'm quite there yet, but its certainly in the near future. :)

Go out, run, and enjoy this amazing weather!

P.S. For PENNSYLVANIA voters: tonight I heard PA Rep. Sam Rohrer at a town hall meeting. Awesome Conservative man running for GOVERNOR OF PA. If you live in PA, you should vote for him. Check him out!

Making a Living vs. Making a Life

2010-03-18T21:20:00.006-04:00

There are 148 days till I graduate.

After twelve years of being homeschooled, three years of undergrad, and almost two years of grad school, I'm curious as to what my life is going to look like without school. When I tell people I'm graduating in August, they often ask what my plans are. Now, up to this point, I always had plans - another grade to complete, a college I was accepted at, rotations to go to. Right now, though, I have no idea what I'll be doing or where I'll be in eight months.

I'm not really worried about it - at least not too much yet haha! I do wish I knew what I was supposed to do. That God would speak in a dream or in a booming voice from heaven. I know that He could if He wanted to - but I think He wants me to learn to live by faith instead.

Sometime He speaks in a still small voice. In a voice that we won't hear if we aren't listening for it. I wish I wasn't so loud sometimes...

I'd like to share some of the small voices with you.

"For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness." (Psalm 84:10)

Am I living this way? Would I really rather be a doorkeeper to God's house than to dwell with the people who aren't seeking God? A doorkeeper - as someone pointed out - is one who opens the door for others to meet with God. The doorkeeper is close to God - but he is not with God. Am I willing to live my life opening the door for others to know God? Would I be willing to give up my desires to simply be a doorkeeper? Would I be satisfied with never suturing again, never delivering another baby, and never holding another scalpel in order to be a doorkeeper?

On Sunday afternoons Danielle & I have been taking a class called Perspectives. The class is absolutely amazing and I have learned so much - especially from the readings of missionaries, church leaders, and historians. There have been so many "small voices" from this class and for that I'm very grateful. I especially liked an article by Samuel Zwemer entitled "The Glory of the Impossible." You should google it and read it. :)

"Our willingness to sacrifice for an enterprise is always in proportion to our faith in that enterprise. Faith has the genius of transforming the barely possible into actuality."

I want the kind of faith that is willing to sacrifice everything.

"Does it really matter how many die or how much money we spend in opening closed doors, and in occupying the different fields, if we really believe that missions are warfare and the the King's glory is at stake?"

Am I willing to die or to spend my life in a war? Or would I prefer to sit peaceably at home while my Hero and mighty Lord of Hosts is out there fighting?

"The unoccupied fields of the world await those who are willing to be lonely for the sake of Christ."

Am I willing to be lonely for the sake of Christ? Am I willing to give up family, friends, the possibility of marriage, etc. to be the doorkeeper. To be lonely?

"There are young doctors who might gather around them in some new mission station thousands of those who 'suffer the horrors of heathenism and Islam,' and lift their burden of pain but who now confine their efforts to some 'pent-up Utica,' where the healing art is subject to the law of competition and is measured too often merely in terms of a cash-book and ledger. They are making a living; they might be making a life."

I think this last quote pretty much sums it up for me. I don't want to simply "make a living" - I want to "make a life". What about you?

Please pray for me. That I would keep my ears open and my heart soft. Thanks.

P.S. Perspectives is an amazing class. Every Christian NEEDS to take it.

Passion.

2010-02-26T20:44:00.003-05:00

"If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the earth."

"There are too many over-fed, under-motivated Christians hiding behind the excuse that God has not spoken to them. They are waiting to hear voices or see dreams all the while living to make money, to provide for their future, to dress well and have fun." Floyd McClung

Please go here to read more about Apostolic Passion.

Please listen to this.

2010-02-19T18:32:00.003-05:00

Why?

2010-02-15T18:11:00.002-05:00

Why do we value things over relationships? Why is it so hard to love? Why do we often base affection on what someone looks like instead of who they are? Why do we try to be popular?

Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Why are so many Christians hypocrites? Why do we add religion to our lives instead of making Christ our life? Why do so many Christians look like the world? Why are many Christians so judgmental?

Why do we passively accept evil in the world instead of fighting? Why don't we have the faith that moves mountains? Why don't we pray for God to change the world instead of accepting the way things are?

Why do we believe that God wants to make our lives miserable? Why do we put God in a box?

The Angel of God

2010-02-07T19:05:00.006-05:00

"Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared." Exodus 23:20

Although this verse was written to the Israelites as they wandered through the desert on their way to the land God promised, I believe that it still applies today. I'm not sure about the whole "guardian angel" concept, yet, I do believe that God uses His angels to go before us and to keep us in the way.

God sent an angel before me on Friday night.

I was working on my job as an EMT on the ambulance. I work at a private transport company and we do mostly non-emergency transport calls (not the cool 911 ones). Anyway, I was working from 1600-2400 on Friday. If you live somewhere in the eastern United States, you'll know that snow was falling at that time. It probably started around 1830 but it started sticking to the roads quickly.

We were busy all night. I guess the ERs were trying to get people back to their nursing homes before the snow hit so they wouldn't get stuck at the hospital. We had done a few calls, switching off who was driving. On one of the later calls, I was driving and we got stuck going up a hill due to the icy weather conditions. I decided that since my partner had more experience driving big vehicles in snow, I'd let him drive instead. :)

Well, we cleared our call around 2315 and started heading back to the office when we were dispatched on yet another call. However, when I heard where we would be going (and knowing it involved driving on winding, narrow, back roads that probably hadn't been plowed), I asked the dispatcher if he thought it was really safe. He decided that it wasn't - so we headed back.

About 3 miles from the office, we were approaching a hill. Since we had gotten stuck earlier, my partner accelerated a little in order to get some momentum. At that very minute, we skidded on the icy road. We lost control of the vehicle and slid across into oncoming traffic, onto the sidewalk, and into a telephone pole - ending perpendicular to the road. It all happened really fast.

We were both ok - so we let our dispatcher know that we had crashed and got out the truck. One of the people who lived right there heard the crash so she offered for us to stay inside until we could get help.

We eventually got the ambulance back to the office and I got home safely.

Since then, I've been impressed about how God protected me. If the call hadn't been canceled and I had been in the back with a patient, I [as well as the patient] would have gotten seriously hurt. If there had been a car coming in the opposite direction, multiple people could have been injured. If we had hit the telephone pole a foot or two more in the front of the ambulance, I might not be writing this.

I've also been wondering how many times God protects us and we don't even realize it. How many times do we thank God for keeping us safe when nothing happens? I am excited to see God's protection when I get to heaven - to finally see how many times God prevented something from happening and I didn't even know.

I've also been thinking about life. What if I had died? Would I be ashamed for how I've lived my life? Did I use the opportunities God gave me?

This accident has been a good thing. It has helped me to re-evaluate my priorities and to proclaim God's goodness. I'm so glad to know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Rom 8:28)

God is good. All the time.

Today

2010-02-04T22:08:00.004-05:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how to really live as a disciple of Jesus. I think its easy to become overwhelmed and think that its impossible to live the "abundant life" that Jesus promised for us. How do we have enough time to read the Bible, pray, serve others, minister to the poor, etc. as well as work, study, eat, and sleep?

I definitely don't have all the answers. However, I read a post towards the end of 2009 that was really challenging. Basically, the author stated that instead of trying to live your next twenty years for Christ [which is a bit overwhelming], just live for Christ today.

Pretty profound, right? Yet, if we live today for Christ, today will turn into tomorrow, and tomorrow will turn in to weeks, and years, and a lifetime.

This year, I've tried to follow his advice. And - it actually makes everything way easier! You should read the article and try it out. :)

Taking one day at a time is really pretty amazing. Following this has also helped me in keeping my resolutions. Its kinda funny actually cause the daily resolutions are going great but the other ones (Resolutions #4 and #5) aren't happening quite so much cause they aren't daily. haha!

As far as Resolution #3, I have embarked on another challenge with my cousin to get up early to meet with God before going to work/school. During the month of February, we are keeping each other accountable as to what time we go to bed and get up in the morning. I love doing devotions in the morning.

Speaking of which, I need to go to bed. :) Night, y'all!

Another Challenge? Plus, thoughts on the Poor.

2010-01-26T21:27:00.005-05:00

Just want to say congrats to everyone who completed the Colossians 3 challenge to memorize 25 verses in the first 25 days of January. It was amazing to memorize this passage knowing that there were Christians around the world doing the exact same thing.

It is awesome to memorize Scripture. If you've never done it, I would challenge you to pick a passage and just do it! I want to keep memorizing [Resolution #2] and I like accountability. So, my next goal is to memorize Romans 8 by March 5th (39 verses in 39 days). Does anyone want to join me? As for the accountability part, I am giving anyone who reads my blog the permission to ask me to say my verses to make sure I'm staying on track (give or take a day).

Now a change in gears here... I've decided to post some of what I learn as I study/prepare/teach the Sunday School class for my girls at church. My purpose is to review what we talk about in class in order to help them throughout the week. Hope this is beneficial to you, girls! :)

Then said [Jesus] also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just. (Luke 14:12-14)

So, what does Jesus mean by this? Should we stop inviting our friends and family over? What if its difficult for us to invite people over at all (i.e. what if we live at home with our parents)? Can we still follow this command of Jesus?

Like so many teachings of Jesus, this deals with motives. Why am I inviting a particular person over? Is it because I genuinely love them or is it because I am trying to get something from them? Am I inviting the popular people over so that I can become part of the "in" crowd? The more I think about it, the more I realize that it is so easy to do this without even thinking about it! How often do we do this in order to get something for ourselves?

In this passage, Jesus is telling His disciples to do something different. Radically different. He's telling them to stop using people for selfish reasons and to start loving unconditionally. So why does He tell us to invite the poor? Because we won't get anything from them...or will we?

No, you probably won't get a free meal from a poor person. A poor person isn't rich in money (duh!) but he is rich in something else - faith (James 2:5). When we start hanging around the poor, our faith starts to grow. Since Jesus thinks faith is way more valuable than money or popularity, He wants us, as His disciples, to invite the poor into our lives.

Ok so this all sounds really cool - but practically its actually hard. Poor people are often dirty. They smell bad. They aren't easy to be around. They are looked down upon. The people who hang out with them are looked down upon.

Yet, those who have kept this command, the people actually hang out with the poor instead of trying to be popular, would attest that it is worth it. Those who choose this lifestyle are blessed [given the capacity and ability to achieve their full potential]. I don't know about you - but I would rather be blessed by God than be considered popular. Let's start inviting the poor into our lives.

One Hour

2010-01-25T23:00:00.005-05:00

Hey folks! Just a reminder that you have ONE HOUR to complete the challenge - well unless you live out in Cali haha! I've been very encouraged with those who have worked hard and finished strong - especially my sister Danielle and friend Jean who both quoted Col. 3:1-25 to me completely. [I know there are others who are also doing it - please let me know if/when you finish!]

To my Sunday School girls: within the next day or so I will be posting about what it means to "Bring in the Poor." :)

Yesterday was my first Perspectives class. It was beyond amazing. Very excited to see what God will teach me and I'm looking forward to sharing bits of it with you.

Have a good night and may the Lord bless you in memorizing His Word!

God is in the Little Things

2010-01-22T21:17:00.002-05:00

To begin, THANK YOU to all who prayed for me this week. It was just a little crazy - with two tests and a presentation - but God is good.

As I said earlier this week, I've been thinking a lot. Still have been. I kinda feel like I'm at a three-ring circus and trying to keep track of everything that's happening around me. Its fine for a little while - but eventually it just starts to become overwhelming. I'm so glad I have this weekend to relax, clean up my room, and watch my brothers' basketball games. :)

I guess I don't have an revelations [yet] but I do want to share what I've noticed.

I've realized that God is in the little things. I don't know about you - but sometimes I forget that. I believe that God is in control of my future, but I often forget that He is control today. He is involved in the little decisions. the little interactions. the little moments. I don't notice Him because I don't look. Yet, when I do look, I've realized that He does care about the little things - and that makes me smile.

Recently I've been noticing God in my life even more than before. There are too many things that have just "happened." For example, through a series of events [that didn't just happen], I've started attending a Bible Study at a neighboring medical school along with two sweet friends. It has already been a huge encouragement to me and I'm so glad God brought these brothers and sisters into my life.

In my small group at Winter Conference we talked about study being an act of worship. I never really thought about that before; yet, it totally makes sense. If we are to honor Christ in "whatsoever we do" - we can definitely honor Him while studying. Plus, as Christians, we should be the best that we can be so that our lives honor Christ. This week while studying, I made a conscious decision to use the time to worship. I didn't feel that I studied differently - and I didn't think I was any more prepared. Yet, when I sat down and took my test, it was amazing because it was exactly what I studied. Coincidence? I think not.

Lately I have become more aware of God in my interactions with others. I've found that I'm treasuring the passing conversations, the short chats, and the times of prayer more than before - perhaps partially due to the fact that there are only 202 days till graduation and there is a very real chance that I may be moving far away afterwards. Instead of rushing through life, I'm learning to treasure the moments. I like that.

One of those "God moments" happened last Saturday night at a bonfire after a relaxing day at Sandy Cove. It was a peaceful chilly night and God was there. As we stood around the fire roasting marshmallows, we talked and sang songs of praise to God. Later that night, I met some new friends and played games and had amazing fellowship late into the early morning. When I finally crawled into bed, I said thanks to my God - who has been with me through the tough times and through the good times, and who loves me anyway.

This weekend, please remember to look for God in the little things. You'll find Him when you start looking for Him.

Thoughts...

2010-01-17T22:01:00.004-05:00

Have you ever had so many thoughts racing through your mind that its hard to know where to start thinking? I've been thinking a lot [don't worry - I'm not manic. lol.] and trying to sort out whats what. Things like life after school. missions. relationships. the church. ministry. using my time efficiently. serving. family. who God is.
and trying to study for my primary care test on Thursday.

I spent the weekend with fellow students in medicine who are disciples of Jesus. Amazing fellowship. I love the bond between brothers and sisters in Christ. :)

More posts will eventually come - perhaps after my tests/presentation later this week. I'd really appreciate your prayers as I try to sort things out. Please pray that I'd have the courage to follow God's will regardless of the cost.

Exciting Plans

2010-01-11T22:19:00.002-05:00

As I have said before, I am very excited about 2010.

First of all, I can finally say that I'm graduating this year. That makes me pretty happy. Along the lines of graduating, I'm also excited to see what God is going to do in life after school. Its hard to believe that I won't have classes to attend, projects to complete, and tests to study for. haha!

I am excited to see what God is going to do in the lives of the people in my life. Sometimes, I think, we become overwhelmed with trying to change the world. Although this is really cool, very few of us will eventually become known throughout the world or be mentioned in the history books. This year, I don't want to change the world. I just want to make a difference in the lives of the people God has put in my life. I want to make a difference in my family. I want to make a difference in those I work with and in my patients. I want to make a difference in my friends.

I am excited about what God is going to teach me this year. Along these lines, I just registered for a Perspectives class. I heard about the class through my friend, Susanna, who [mostly] finished the online class. From what I've heard, it sounds like a pretty intense class on the history of missions. I'm very excited and I think it will be worth the time and the Sunday afternoons to take this course. It is also cool that my sister is going to take it with me. :)

I am excited to see how God will answer my prayers this year. :D

I am excited about where God is going to send me this year. I've given my time to Him and its amazing what opportunities have just "happened." I'm also excited to see how God is going to provide for the travels He's going to send me on.

Please pray that I would be completely focused on GOD this year. Thanks.

Of Prayer and Faith

2010-01-10T16:36:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about prayer a lot recently. Since being more intentional in my relationship with Jesus is resolution #3 for the year, I've been thinking and reading and praying about how this should happen in my life.

As some of you may know, I teach a Sunday School class for the teenage girls at my church. We've been going through the Commands of Christ and "coincidentally" we happen to be up to Command 35 & 36. These commands are "Be a House of Prayer" and "Ask in Faith."

"And [Jesus] said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves" (Matthew 21:13)

Prayer is something Jesus is passionate about. Perhaps its because He knows how powerful it really is. In Matthew 21, He walks into the temple, drives out the moneychangers, and then says this. The ultimate purpose of God's house is prayer.

So what is God's house today since the temple has been destroyed. I Corinthians 3:16 says that we are the temple of God. The Spirit of God dwells in us! If Jesus says that the temple is called a "house of prayer," then our lives must be defined by prayer.

I'll be completely honest - I don't pray nearly as much as I should. Prayer is something I tend to fit in when I can. Something I do before meals. Before going to bed. When I feel overwhelmed or need something from God.

I've been thinking about the heroes of the faith. People like Hudson Taylor, George Mueller, Amy Carmichael, D.L. Moody, David Brainard, Jim Elliot, and so many more. As I thought about it, I began to notice a pattern. Each of these people made prayer a huge part of their lives. They spent hours a day in prayer. Even the people I really look up to Spiritually who are alive today all pray a lot! Hmm...

The next few verses build upon what Jesus said in Matthew 21:13.

"Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:21-22)

I've been reading about Abraham lately. I've learned a lot about his faith. About how he prayed. I want his faith.

Faith is believing that God is able to answer. I think most Christians would agree that God is able to do anything. However, I don't think we live like its true. If we really would believe that God can do anything, why don't we ask big things of Him?

I think that we don't ask big things of God because we're scared. We're scared that maybe its not His will - so He won't answer. We're told not to put all our eggs in one basket. So thats how we live the Christian life. We don't want to risk everything - just in case God doesn't answer.

I've decided to change that. I've chosen to risk it all. To put all my eggs in one basket.

And this is why...

I believe that God is a good God. I believe that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. I believe that He is able to answer my prayers. And if He doesn't answer, I believe that He has something bigger and better in store. I can ask God for big things - knowing that I'll either get the big thing I prayed for OR the better thing that I didn't pray for. Prayer becomes exciting when I believe this.

I am excited about God and about what He is going to do. I'm excited to see how He answers my big prayers in bigger and better ways. Will you join me? I hope so.

The Challenge

2010-01-05T17:30:00.004-05:00

I am so excited for 2010. I have already seen God do some really neat things and there are still 360 days left! :D

Reading through the Bible has been really neat. It has been awesome using the One Year Bible! I am a huge read/write learner so I like to make notes/highlight/underline/circle words/etc. When I simply read something I often get bored and my mind starts to wander (especially lists of names and the years they lived!). I always feel bad marking up my Bible - but this year is different because its formatted differently and I'll only be using it this year. I am so excited to see what God is going to teach me each day!

So, what I really wanted to focus on in this post is the Journey Challenge to memorize Colossians 3. It is such a GREAT chapter to start the year with! I wanted to share some of the verses I have been memorizing and engrafting in my heart...

"If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." (vs 1-2)

These are such a great verse to start the year. If I am really risen with Christ, I need to seek things above and set my affections on them. Why should I spend my time focused on what is going to pass away? I have a very limited amount of time and energy - and I must seek the Kingdom of God (Matt 6:33) instead of wasting it on what the world thinks is cool. This verse challenges me to be sure my priorities are right.

"For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God" (vs. 3)

Paul doesn't beat around the bush here. I like this. If I have really risen with Christ (as a disciple of Jesus) I am dead. My flesh is dead. A dead person doesn't make decisions about anything. A dead person isn't trying to look pretty. A dead person isn't trying to impress others. Am I living like I'm dead?

And the second part of the verse is so cool! How amazing is it that our lives are hid with Christ in God?!?! If I get to this point, my life is not about Janine anymore. Its about Christ. My life becomes buried - hidden - in the person of Jesus Christ. When other see me, they see Christ. I am not defined by what I look like, how I act, what I like, who I am. I am defined by Christ.

"When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory" (vs. 4)

I think I would have liked talking to Paul. :) He doesn't say that Christ should be our life - he simply makes a statement that He is our life. Just a passing comment as he is talking about the glory of Christ.

"Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:" (vs. 5)

I love the language of the KJV. It sounds so much better to "mortify" than to "put to death." :) If we have learned to obey the beginning four verses, the fifth verse will be easy since our flesh is dead and we are now defined by Christ, who is our life. I have found it interesting that covetous is idolatry. When we think about it, though, it makes perfect sense. When we covet something or someone, we are telling God that He is not enough for us. We are saying that need something - or someone else - to make us truly happy.

Well I'd better stop talking and go start living. Lord bless, y'all and please consider joining me on this memory challenge! I'm so excited to have my whole family doing it with me as well as some really good friends. Will you? Even if you can't finish by the 25th, its totally ok because God will reward you even if it takes a little longer...haha!

A New Year

2010-01-02T13:10:00.007-05:00

This year I decided that I should read "My Utmost for His Highest" on a daily basis. Oswald Chambers is very challenging and (if you haven't discovered already), I enjoy being challenged. :) I've read it off and on for awhile but I've never started January 1st. Actually, I didn't start January 1st this year either - but I read the first two days today so I'm caught up. haha!

I really like what he has to say for January 1st and I thought I'd re-post it here. Also, if you're interested in getting daily emails with his devotion of the day, you can do that here.

Let Us Keep To The Point

"My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed, but that now as ever I may do honour to Christ in my own person by fearless courage."

Philippians 1:20

My Utmost for His Highest. "My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed." We shall all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus on the point He has asked us to yield to Him. Paul says - "My determination is to be my utmost for His Highest." To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point. An overweening consideration for ourselves is the thing that keeps us from that decision, though we put it that we are considering others. When we consider what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He does not know what our obedience will mean. Keep to the point; He does know. Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God for this one thing only - My Utmost for His Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.

My Undeterredness for His Holiness. "Whether that means life or death, no matter!" (v.21.) Paul is determined that nothing shall deter him from doing exactly what God wants. God's order has to work up to a crisis in our lives because we will not heed the gentler way. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him, and we begin to debate; then He produces a providential crisis where we have to decide - for or against, and from that point the "Great Divide" begins.
If the crisis has come to you on any line, surrender your will to Him absolutely and irrevocably.

[emphasis mine]

Happy 2010! May the Lord bless you as you live to love Him more - it is something you will never regret.

"God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is." Oswald Chambers (January 2nd)

Reflections

2009-12-31T18:55:00.002-05:00

2009 has certainly been an amazing year. God has taught me so much and has blessed me in many ways. Since the year is coming to a close, I wanted to reflect a little.

The year started with my medical missions trip to Mexico. It was especially cool because my sister Danielle came with me - our first missions trip together. Our friend, Christine, also came too and the three of us had an amazing time. Since our team was small, we worked closely with the Mexican believers. I was challenged by their faith and willingness to share the Gospel with everyone.

A big part of 2009 happened while sitting in a chair in Tuttleman 101. My PA classmates will know exactly what I mean. haha! From January through June I sat in that room hour after hour listening and trying to learn everything I need to know about medicine.

My Grandparents were always a big part of my life growing up. Danielle & I used to spend a lot of time doing things with them and sleeping over their house. We have lots of happy memories with them. On January 31st, my Grandfather passed away after being ill for a few months. Although I miss him, I am so grateful for the time I had with him. I am also so thankful that he trusted in Jesus as his Savior shortly before he died.

In May (on my Dad's birthday) I graduated with my B.S. from Philadelphia University. It was a special day with my family, friends, and classmates. However, it was just a little weird to tell my PA friends that I'd see them back in class the next day... :)

In June my best friend growing up got married. Danielle and I went up to New York for the wedding and I was their photographer. It is still weird to me how my friends are getting married (isn't 22 a little young? haha!). I am so glad that I got to be a part of their day.

July marked the end of the didatic year and the beginning of the clinical year. Since I went to Mississippi for my first rotation, my friend, Avee, and I celebrated Fourth of July seeing fireworks down in VA. I was in Mississippi for five weeks delivering babies and first assisting in surgery. It was pretty awesome. I also loved living in an apartment with Avee & Tracy.

A highlight of the year was the Global Missions Health Conference in Louisville. It was an amazing conference and God showed me so much. Although He totally changed what I thought His plans were for me, I am beyond excited to be where He wants me to be.

There are so much more that happened this year. IPS. COMMIT in Nashville. Visits with my step-sisters - Spike, Sarah, Aimee, & Sue. Meeting new friends. Reconnecting with old friends. Fun times in Chinatown. Jet-skiing. Dinners with friends. Meeting at Panera to "study." Hugs from my brothers. Williamsburg for Thanksgiving. Music. Baby Jacob.

Thanks for being part of my 2009.

God is good. I am so excited to see what He is planning for my 2010.

Resolutions

2009-12-29T20:19:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure who started new year's resolutions but they seem to be pretty popular around this time of year. However, as most people know, the problem with new year's resolutions is that they generally don't last. According to statistics (which I'm not sure exactly how accurate they are), 75% make it past the first week and 46% make it past six months. However, those who make "resolutions" are 10x more likely to make their goal than those who just drift through life without any goals.

I like to make new years resolutions. And I figured that if I posted them here I'd be more likely to keep them than to become a statistic. Feel free to check up on me to be sure I'm staying on track... :)

My 2010 Resolutions:

Read through the Bible. For Christmas I got The One Year Bible. For each day of the year, it has a portion of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs.
Memorize Scripture - aiming for a verse a day. Living the Journey has a challenge in January - 25 verses in the first 25 days of the month. Since it takes about this long to develop a habit, its a great way to start the year. Will you join me?
Be more intentional in building my life around Jesus. Why do I try to fit Him into my life instead of fitting my life around Him? Practically, this means spending more time in prayer. Also, it means being more intentional in sharing my amazing Savior with those in my life.
Learn to shoot with flash. I hate using flash because I don't know how to use it well. Photography friends: Please let me know if you'd recommend any articles or books on this topic...thanks!
Respond to emails within 48 hours. I'm really bad with this - and then I feel awful because its been two weeks so I don't email back, and then I feel worse...
Run at least twice a week. One of my life goals is to run a marathon - and although I don't think that will happen in 2010, a 10K or half marathon would be nice :)
Live in the present. Wherever I am, I want to be all there. I want to live this year with No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets.

Last week at my church's Christmas banquet God gave me my verses for the year. They are pretty amazing and I want to share them here. I'm so excited to see how God will use me in 2010.

"I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles; To open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house." Isaiah 42:6-7

May the Lord bless y'all as you make the most of the end of 2009 and think about the next year.

Delighting in God

2009-12-22T23:13:00.003-05:00

"Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4

What are the desires of our hearts? How do we delight in God? What does this even mean?

A lot of Christians in America today like this verse because it means that when they delight in the Lord, He is gonna give them everything they want. And since money and possessions and things are important to them, they want more. So if somehow "delighting in God" will get them more stuff, might as well give it a try. After all, stuff is whats important anyway.

Ok, I'm being just a little cynical here. But, even if we don't say it, I think we sometimes think it.

I think we've got it all backwards.

In my experience, delighting in God doesn't get me what I want. It gets me to want what God wants. Let me give you some examples...

When I was little I wanted to be an artist. Now, those who know me today would agree that I'm really bad at drawing. I do love photography but that really wasn't what I had in mind when I was nine. I've tried to the best of my ability to delight in God - but I didn't become an artist (PTL!). Why didn't God give me the "desires of my heart"???

Something changed. When I delighted in the Lord, my heart changed. I felt the call to be a missionary - and more specifically medical missions. When I was little I didn't pretend to be a doctor cause I didn't want to be one. I didn't really like anatomy and science and blood. But when I realized that medicine was God's will for my life, I decided to try and like it. I figured it would be better to at least try than to fight God all my life. :) And guess what? I started to like it...then love it...then realized it was my passion. God gave me the desire of my heart.

Now a more recent example.

Starting PA school I pretty much decided that I would like emergency medicine but primary care (aka family medicine) was WAY too boring and I would NEVER like OB/GYN. So, my heart's desire would be a job as an ER PA. Obviously I'm still in school and I don't have a job yet so this could still happen. However, my heart is changing.

I think the change began when I started my first day at an amazing Mississippi hospital. When I started to like OB/GYN. I love it now and I miss it a lot. People still give me weird looks when I say I'd like to work in women's health but thats ok. :)

So, like I said before, primary care is way too boring for me. I mean, I could NEVER sit in an office all day. And 8-5 jobs are just too normal.

I heard about this amazing clinic down in Memphis - with a lot of primary care (and some OB/GYN too :]). I would really like to work there - but I didn't want to be miserable. As if I really believe God would call me somewhere to do something I hate.

Well, I am in week three - of twelve - in primary care. I was dreading this rotation because its three whole months in the same place, without many hands-on procedures. But guess what? I'm starting to like it. ;) And this is why: people are willing to talk about personal stuff going on in their lives with someone wearing a white coat. I know its a little strange how a white coat breaks down barriers, but it happens. And it happens a lot more frequently in the PCP office than it does in the hospital. I've had a patient who was a missionary in the middle east. I've had opportunities to pray with patients. I've had patients who have shared some difficult things - just cause I listened.

I go into work excited to see what God will do. And I leave happy - knowing that I've helped someone today. Plus, 8-5 hours are actually pretty cool as well (in case you were wondering).

So, please pray that I would delight myself in God. That He would change my desires to be His desires. That I would love Him more and more. Thanks.

God Knows Best.

2009-12-21T21:36:00.003-05:00

Hmm... I have about three things I want to blog about... But I guess I'll start with the most recent. :)

This weekend was amazing.

I hope you're reading this Sarah and Alana and Aimee and Sue and Danielle. I luv all you girls.

I think that the reason I loved this weekend so much was that it was out of my control. I had my plans. And God had His plans. And cause God is way bigger than me, His plans happened and mine didn't. haha! I could have become miserable and upset when my ideas weren't happening but because I chose to be happy with what God sent me (literally from the sky), it turned out better than I planned. :)

My amazing friend, Sarah, and her sister, Alana, flew in Thursday night. God got them here (which is a story in itself) and I'm so glad He did. Sarah is one of my many step-sisters and it was so good to see each other again. :)

Chinatown and Philly are pretty amazing. I can't even remember the last time I went to the Liberty Bell & Independence Hall. And of course, we had to watch National Treasure when we came home...too bad we missed the Reading Terminal Market.

Then Saturday. And snow. Twas only supposed to be 4-6inches at our house. I think it ended up being about 18. But early Saturday morning the four of us headed out 6o miles. Might not have been the smartest idea but God definitely protected us and kept us from getting stuck.

We made it about 2.5 hours later but Danielle & I decided that it wasn't really safe to drive home. So, we got to be snowed in on an organic dairy farm with our friends Aimee & Sue. Lots of memories there...who drives a tractor to blockbuster for movies? :)

So, even though it wasn't what I had planned, God used it and gave me something even better. I hope that I always have the faith to realize HE knows best.

Miracle at the Manger

2009-12-14T22:25:00.003-05:00

Last night I had the privilege of directing our church's children Christmas program (along with my amazing sister, Danielle). The program was entitled "Miracle at the Manger" and it is a story of a boy named Jack who steals a bike. Throughout the story, he believes that he is not worthy to receive God's gift of salvation because of the bad things he has done. The other children share that Jesus came to save HIM and that none of us deserve His gift. In the end, Jack believes that Jesus came to save Him - and the children are excited to help him celebrate his first Christian Christmas.

The children last night did an awesome job.

This story has special significance for me because when I was seven years old, I was in this play. Although I didn't have a speaking part, I had played the tape enough times to have ALL the parts memorized. haha. :)

Now, I don't remember what I got that year for Christmas; but, I do remember the time I spent being in this program. I remember singing the songs in our old van. I remember rehearsing the songs week after week. I even remember performing the play in the mall and having the girl behind me vomit all over me. :)

Which brings me to a point. Gifts are fun - but spending time with people is SO much better. During Christmas its easy to become so busy doing that we forget to be. We run around shopping for the perfect gift - but how much better would it be to spend that time WITH the person you're getting the gift for (btw: I'm a big fan of online shopping).

I might not remember what I get for Christmas this year. But I will remember the time I spent with eleven amazing children preparing this program. I will remember my brothers practicing their lines over and over. I will remember talking with parents afterwards and seeing how proud they were of their children. And I will remember the time spent with friends and church family after the program.

Thank you for being part of my Christmas this year.

And along these lines, I am sooooo excited to have my friend, Sarah, coming to visit this weekend from the great state of Texas. :) Philly...here we come!

I'd like to share one of the songs with y'all. Its called "Miracles Still Happen." This video was taken at the end of a long afternoon of rehearsals - which accounts for some of what happens. So, please listen to the words of the song and watch their faces. Priceless.

Conspiracy Photos

2009-11-29T15:56:00.004-05:00

"And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward." Matthew 10:42

1. Please watch this.

2. Please help me.

I am a poor college student but I want to do something. I don't have much money but thats where YOU can help...

I am offering "Conspiracy Photos."
I am looking for five people who want to help me give water in Jesus' name.

Sessions will be $100.
I will spend at least one hour photographing you, your family, you and your significant other, etc.
You will get a CD with all the best images and the opportunity to purchase professional prints.
Your money will go towards providing fresh water.

If you want to help change the world, please contact me. Thanks!

The Unreached

2009-11-27T19:22:00.006-05:00

We talk of the Second Coming; half the world has never heard of the first. Oswald J. Smith

66% of the world's population (4.1 Billion) lives in the 10/40 window.
82% of the poorest poor live in the 10/40 window.
Most of the people living in the 10/40 window will be born, live, and die - never hearing the Gospel.
The top 50 least evangelized cites are all located in the 10/40 window.
40.7% of people groups are unreached.
97% of the remaining unreached people groups are located in the 10/40 window.
8% of missionaries work in the 10/40 window
Less than half of 1% of the budget of our churches goes to reach people in the 10/40 window.

I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light. John Keith Falconer

Thankful

2009-11-25T22:39:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. And so - I wanted to dedicate a post to what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for Jesus Christ. And for God. And for what He has done for me. I am overwhelmed about how good He is to me - even tho I don't deserve it at all. His presence has been so real in my life, especially in the last few weeks. The more I get to know Him, the more I realize how amazing and wonderful and good He is. I cannot imagine my life without Him.

And then I think about all the people who don't have Him in their lives. How miserable it must be to live in hopelessness. In fear. In despair. I think about the people who have heard - and have rejected Him. But I feel saddest for the people who have never heard - and who will never even hear about my God. And I realize that I have no choice but to go and tell them.

I just want to share a few of the many things I am grateful for.
I am thankful for...

my wonderful family. You have been so supportive and encouraging even when I come up with some crazy ideas about things.
my church family. You have truly shown how the church should love one another.
all my amazing friends - and especially Jean, Holly, and Avee. You have taught me so much and have been there for me. We have such great memories and I'm looking forward to making new ones in the future.
my PhilaU PA class of 2010. Its been a great year(+) with ya.
my STEP sisters. I miss you girls a LOT! Stay Strong.
southern hospitality.
plane rides and where they've taken me.
starbucks and vanilla frappachinos.
the Bible - God's love letter to me.
being in PA school.
people who are honest - even when it hurts.
my camera - and the way it allows me to see the world.
prayer. And for how God always answers.
divine appointments.
long drives to work - and the awesome times with God I have.
learning new things.
being homeschooled. Thanks especially to Mom for sacrificing so much and to Dad for math and physics labs.
medicine - and how it can be used to help people.
the "ah-ha" moments when it finally all makes sense.
late nights with friends.
being single and never having a boyfriend - and for what God has taught me.
good music.
sunrises and sunsets.
learning about peoples' passions.
long car rides in which I don't have to drive.
light. and electricity. and internet. and a cell phone.
miracles.
the Global Missions Health Conference - and all it includes. :)
long talks.
rainbows.
what God has done and what He will do in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! May the Lord bless you!

If God calls you to be a [PA], don't stoop to be a [MD]

2009-11-20T17:23:00.005-05:00

One of the questions I went to Louisville with was whether or not I should go to medical school. Being in rotations and finally working with doctors and physician assistants has slightly changed my previous ideas about how amazing PAs are (tho they are still pretty cool) :)

I was pretty excited to see that one of the breakout sessions was on mid-level providers (PAs, NPs, etc.) and missions. After attending the session, I left even more confused. The premise of the talk was that missions is so much easier for mid-level providers because they have less debt, its easier to leave a job, they aren't in school for a bazillion years, and their schedule is often more flexible. Okay, sounds too good to be true, right?

There is a catch.

Many countries don't recognize mid-level providers. So, that means that either I would have to work with a doctor all the time (which is technically what a PA would do) or I could only go to certain countries. Hmm... The speaker ended by saying that if God has called you to career (life-long) missions, it might be better to become a doctor.

Fortunately, there was a "mentor session" the next day with the speaker so I signed up. Because of that, I got to talk with him about my situation to get his advice ["Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." Prov. 11:14]. His counsel was to talk with mission organizations and other missionaries to get their perspective. He thought it would still be possible, it just would be more difficult.

So I headed to the "Mobilization Center" to talk.

I talked with a few different mission organizations and some missionary doctors. One doctor who had been a missionary to Kenya shared that most of what he did didn't require a MD after his name. He also said that I could apply to be a PA-equivalent in whatever country I went to. However, everyone agreed that if I wanted to be a surgeon, I definitely needed to go to med school. Hmm...

I don't know how God will eventually lead me - but I DO know that right now, He has called me to PA school. Maybe He has called me to be a PA so that I will be better prepared for med school later. Maybe He has called me to be a PA so that I won't have to go into debt for med school later. or Maybe He has called me to be a PA to be a PA.

I've been thinking about WHY I want to go to medical school - for the prestige of being a doctor? to learn a lot more? to do a lot more? to be a surgeon? to be in charge?

God brought this verse to my attention:
"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus" (Acts 4:13)

I want to be "unlearned and ignorant" so that people see Jesus in me.

I believe that GOD can use anyone (including a PA) to change the world. I want to be used of God. And if He is able to use me better as a PA than as a MD, then I'd gladly serve Him as a PA.

And for those of you who are reading this and aren't in medicine, please don't think God can't use you just as much (or more)!!! God is totally in control of your past, your present, and your future. He has given you talents. and desires. and abilities. Please don't waste them! Live where you are as a disciple of Jesus Christ and He WILL use you. And be willing to give up whatever He asks you. And go where He leads you. And love unconditionally. And God will use YOU to change the world.

"I have found that there are three stages to every great work of God: first it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done." Hudson Taylor

Let's be reasonable...not

2009-11-17T22:34:00.002-05:00

Where to start...

If you had asked me Thursday morning what God wanted me to do with my life I would have told you a place and a people. I would have told you what I thought I would be doing there. I would have told you that although parts were a bit fuzzy, I still had a pretty good general idea.

That all changed.

Like I said before the conference, I wanted to hear from God. But it was about something else, not about this. I KNEW God wanted me to reach the Hispanic and Indian population in South America...or did I?

The change began on Thursday night when Dr. Chuck stepped onto the stage. When he said that he knew he wasn't going to change anyone's life in just one hour. What he didn't say is that the Holy Spirit can.

He talked about what a Christian is. How a disciple of Jesus acts. How the American culture and Christianity have melted into "American Churchianity" in which American Christians today strive to live the American Dream and then go to heaven later. How Christians today want to "be reasonable" instead of living the unreasonable, risky, dangerous lives the disciples of Jesus lived. How Christians spend more money on pet food than on missions. How the current-day disciples of Jesus in other countries are willing to be persecuted and die for their faith. How there are millions of people living in a certain area of the world who will never even HEAR the Gospel. They will never know who Jesus is simply because they have never heard.

And I was challenged.

I am tired of the mediocrity. I am tired of "American Churchianity." I am tired of the selfishness, the pursuit of pleasure, the lack of concern for others.

I cannot live in "American Churchianity" any longer. If Jesus' disciples are willing to DIE for Him, I should at least be willing to live for Him. I cannot let the American culture seep into my life and destroy my faith.

I want to be a disciple. One who will readily risk his/her life for the Gospel.

So, what does this mean on a practical level. I mean, idealistically it sounds amazing - but how does this actually affect my life? Some things God has shown me (and I'm still learning)...

Be unreasonable. If I believe my God can do ANYTHING, why don't I act like it?
Learn who Jesus really is. We hear so much ABOUT Jesus but do we really KNOW Jesus?
Pray. Prayer is wrestling with the enemies. And if I believe prayer is effective, why don't I spend more time doing it?

I'd love to hear what y'all have to say about being a disciple on a practical level!

I don't have to go overseas to be an effective disciple. If I live an unreasonable life right here right now God can use me to change the world.

For me, it doesn't stop there (i.e. I will eventually be going overseas) but it certainly begins here.

Well, after the amazing session, Dr. Chuck was giving out his book, Preach and Heal, for FREE! My two friends and I ran out of the session so we could be sure to get a book. After securing our copies, we headed back to where the session was to have him to sign our books [even though he thinks signing books is dumb :)]

We had the opportunity to talk with him for a while (it took awhile to sign the books...) and he is definitely an amazing guy. After talking with him, we asked him to come out with our Philly group the next night for ice-cream and he agreed. Sweet! ;)

When I left that night, I knew God was changing the direction of my life. How could I go where people had already heard the Gospel when I could go to tell those who haven't? Yes, it would be more dangerous. More risky. More difficult. But I am a disciple of Jesus. And I must go.

And this is only the first day. ;) kudos to those of you who read till now. haha! may the LORD bless you! :)

Janine

"The opposite of live is not hate - it's indifference" -C.S. Lewis

GMHC part one

2009-11-15T23:14:00.002-05:00

First of all, I want to say a huge THANK YOU to those who prayed for me. The conference was amazing - even better than I was hoping for (which says a lot - especially for those of you who knew how high my expectations were!). God did a LOT in my life. Still need time to process and talk about it with my fam so I'm gonna get into all that in another post.

To summarize: the speakers were amazing and so very challenging. the fellowship was out of this world (how often are you around thousands of medical Christ-followers who are interested in missions?). southern hospitality is awesome. ice-cream is delicious at 10pm while listening to near-death experiences. and hearing stories of what God is doing around the world is just...wow!

I think that these might have been the best three days of my life.

Not sure how its possible to go from laughing to sobbing in the space of a few minutes. Especially for me since I'm normally NOT like that at all. Perhaps it had something to do with getting only 4-5 of sleep at night. But I think it was more than that.

Ok so keep your eyes open for pictures and more posts - but in the meantime, I'd like you to consider the 15 Greatest Missionary Mistakes (according to Steve Saint - the son of martyred missionary Nate Saint)

Thinking that God needs us
Staying too long
Thinking that its from the west to the rest
Trying to make them like us
Making them use our pitcher to hold Christ's water
Confusing investment with sacrifice
Having marginal commitment
Thinking that only those who go count
Wanting to write our story and let God be our editor
Marginalizing ourselves for safety sake
Using God instead of serving Him
Adding our requirements to God's requirements
Celebrating the wrong things
Thinking inside the box
Living too high financially and marrying wrong.

I especially like numbers 1, 6, 9, 10, 14, & 15.

This weekend... :)

2009-11-11T21:33:00.004-05:00

As many of you may know, this weekend I am going to the most amazing conference ever in Louisville, KY. Its called the Global Missions Health Conference. This is my third year going and I am super excited!!!

Please pray for me while I'm traveling and attending the conference. I know that I'm going to learn a lot, be challenged, and have fun all at the same time. However, I want to be open to whatever the Lord speaks to me about. I'm have a few questions about things and I'm looking for some answers...so pray that my ears will be open. :)

Well, hope that y'all have a great weekend! Thanks so much for your prayers and support!

Janine

All in All

2009-10-18T15:30:00.006-04:00

You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek,

You are my all in all.

Seeking You as a precious jewel, Lord, to give up I'd be a fool,

You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame, Rising again I bless Your name,

You are my all in all.

When I fall down You pick me up, When I am dry You fill my cup,

You are my all in all.

Is Christ the Treasure that we seek? Or are we really seeking more money, cooler cell-phones, nicer cars, and cuter shoes? Do we look to Christ to fill our cup? Or are we really looking to other people, friends on facebook, or a boy/girlfriend to fill us?

Is Christ really my all in all? Is He sufficient?

I believe that He is.

Maybe I should clarify. He wants to be sufficient - but often we don't let Him be. Thats because He really isn't the treasure we are seeking. And we aren't looking to Him to fill our cup. We sing the songs but we really don't mean it. Thats because we don't really believe that Jesus will completely satisfy.

We are scared. We believe that if we make Jesus our all in all, our life we become miserable. We don't trust Him.

I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps its because we like to have control. Making Jesus our all in all is like handing over the keys and getting into the passenger seat. We can't decide where we're going or how we're gonna get there.

And that scares us.

So, instead of making Jesus our Treasure, we try grabbing for things to become satisfied. Instead of looking to Jesus to fill our cup, we try to find satisfaction by writing on our friends' walls and spending time with other people. And the more things we get, the more we want. The more time we spend with friends, the more empty we feel. We come to Jesus but we aren't willing to surrender the things. the friends. the ability to satisfy ourselves. We add Jesus to our life but we don't give Him control - cause thats too scary. And when we add Jesus, He can't satisfy us. So we learn from experience that Jesus doesn't really satisfy. We look to the Bible but we don't have the victory we read about. Instead of wondering why, we become defeated and just say that its not possible today.

And we wonder why Christianity today is half-dead. Why Christians live such defeated lives.

It doesn't have to be this way.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live this way. I believe that Jesus can satisfy. That He can be my all in all. But its not easy - it requires sacrifice. Like any relationship, it requires time and work. An amazing relationship with Jesus Christ doesn't come overnight.

But I believe that its definitely worth it.

"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." (Psalm 16:11)

Janine

Hebrews 11

2009-08-25T18:51:00.001-04:00

"But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city. " (Hebrews 11:16)

Is God ashamed to be called my God?

Why I love medicine

2009-08-22T22:47:00.003-04:00

This week I started my psychiatric rotation. And its been a lot different than OB/GYN. My patients have been a bit crazier...literally. :)

Although I wouldn't want to specialize in psych, there are aspects that I enjoy. I have much fewer patients per day (an average of 5 compared to 25-30 in Mississippi). Although there's less to do, I am glad that I am able to spend more time with each patient.

I've come to realize that one of the reasons I love medicine is because it is all about people and their story. Unlike jobs in financing, engineering, etc., I spend much of my time just talking with my patient to learn their history. Now everyone in the medical field knows that the history plays a big role in determining the diagnosis. A good practitioner can often figure out whats wrong simply by listening to what the patient says and asking some key questions. One reason I like psych is that we spend a lot of time with patients and usually get a good history - the patient's story.

I'd like to share a few here.

Meet Kate, a twenty year-old girl who tried to commit suicide. She took a handful of naproxen (Aleve) after her ex-boyfriend threatened to kill her and her family unless she gave him money for drugs. He is part of a gang. She doesn't want to die but she says she feels trapped. He has stalked her for the past year and she's not sure what to do.

Meet Landon, a twenty-nine year old guy who was picked up from walking on the highway. He is somewhat mentally retarded. He lives in a group home, which he doesn't like since everyone else is older than him. He spends his time watching TV because there's nothing else to do. Since he doesn't know how to control his anger, he has assaulted other residents in the home and broke a man's nose. He wants to move and he needs help. He stayed with us in the crisis center for two days while the social worker looked for a place. If we couldn't get him somewhere, he asked for a foster-mom.

Meet Tara, a twenty-eight year old girl who is in the ICU. She dove from an overpass onto the highway but did not die. When she was brought to the hospital, nobody knew who she was. Now we know that she has been depressed for years and finally planned her death. Fortunately, she did not succeed. She still wants to die and she refuses to take medications. Pray for her.

These are just a few of the stories I have heard. And this is why I love medicine. Not because all the stories are sad, but because medicine is a field in which listening to people and learning their story is a vital part. And when we learn another's story, we can connect with them. And when we connect with them, we can share Jesus and the hope He brings.

This is why I love medicine.

Janine

*Note - names have been changed for obvious reasons.

The final count

2009-08-12T10:50:00.002-04:00

9 - Babies I delivered vaginally
7 - C-sections I assisted in
4 - Vaginal deliveries I assisted in

Before life's first cry

2009-08-11T21:26:00.008-04:00

Well its been a minute and I thought it was time to update. The last few weeks have been busy and I'm sorry its been so long. My family came down to visit me in the beginning of August and we all went to New Orleans for the weekend. It was so good to see them!

After they left, I had my last week down in Mississippi. It was harder than the first four weeks for a few reasons. Being the last week, it was real hard to say goodbye to everyone and leave. I genuinely wish that I could have stayed longer but I know that God wants me back home.

Another reason why the last week was so hard was that some difficult circumstances occurred which I'll share with y'all.

But before I do, there was something I noticed about the song "In Christ Alone." This is the last verse:

No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Although I absolutely LOVE this song, one part is not quite right. It says, "From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny." Now, this IS true - BUT - Jesus commands our destiny before life's first breath. I realized this during the last week.

Sometimes a baby never cries. And yet, Jesus is still in charge of that baby's destiny. During the last week this happened twice. Both were incredibly sad circumstances. Another one of my patients came to clinic a few weeks after this happened to her 15 week-old. Its hard to know what to say and how to comfort the family.

Sometimes things happen before a baby's first cry. On the Thursday before I left, I stayed up in L&D to assist one of the patients who was in labor. This was her first baby and both she and her husband were very excited. After pushing for about two hours, we were ready to call the Doctor. After a few more minutes, it became apparent that the baby's head was not going to fit. An episiotomy was performed and she continued to push. Finally, the baby's head came out but he was limp and the shoulders were stuck. After some special maneuvers and a lot more pushing, the shoulders finally came out along with the rest of the baby. Yet, he did not cry. The Doctor brought him over to the warmer and still, he did not cry. This is very concerning because a baby needs to cry in order to clear the lungs from fluid. Finally, after a few LONG minutes, he finally cried. PTL!

I am so glad that Christ commands my destiny - from even before my first cry.

And now I am back home. Glad to be here but sad to leave Mississippi. On the last Friday, Avee & I went to dinner with her doctor and his staff. It was very neat. We went to this awesome "juke-joint." This is my favorite picture from the night.

May God bless y'all!

Janine

Week three

2009-07-25T10:02:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that I have only two more weeks down here in Mississippi. This past week has been really busy (which is why I haven't updated my blog!) but really good.

The highlight of the week was most certainly the deliveries. :) I delivered two babies the "natural" way and first assisted in two C-section deliveries. Two boys. Two girls. It is such a rewarding experience to help bring life into the world! The doctor I'm working with this week is a great teacher and he's let me do a lot. For the last delivery, he pretty much let me do the whole thing and he told me that the next one I'll do completely by myself. :)

During the rest of the time, I got to first-assist in a few surgeries, help in clinic, do a few short procedures, and round on patients in the hospital. Since I've been here for a few weeks, I've gotten to see some of the patients on more than one visit if they had to follow-op (or for OB patients who are almost there).

On another note, Avee started teaching me to play the guitar this week. :) I really enjoy playing and figuring our chords but my fingers hurt! I guess, just like playing the harp, you need tough fingers to play the guitar. :)

Well, hope that y'all have a good weekend! I'll be updating again "in a minute"*

Janine

Self built heroes are the glory of humanity. They earn themselves the applause of this Earth, for they have demonstrated that an earthly man or woman can prove valor, worth, and virtue without the aid of God through sheer discipline, human genius, and work ethic. This world esteems self-built heroes above all others.

God-built heroes are the glory of God. They earn themselves the applause of heaven, for they prove that the God of the universe is willing and able to overtake the existence of a childlike believe to demonstrate the very nature, power, might, and love of God in and through human skin. This world despises God-built men and women above all others, for they prove in their very manner, life, and calling the existence of the Almighty. (p. 181, Wrestling Prayer)

*the phrase "in a minute" (pronounced: meenite) can mean any length of time down here - kinda like the phrase "in a while."

Seven thousand

2009-07-19T15:04:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I feel like Elijah. He was a giant of faith and did amazing things for God. Yet, he was a person just like me. After his mountaintop experience at Mount Carmel, he had to run for his life and he became discouraged, maybe even depressed. During this time he thinks he is the only one left for God. He says, "I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away." (I Kings 19:14)

Sometimes I start thinking like Elijah. I look around at the world around me and wonder if I'm the only one left. I hear the news and read the paper and I start feeling like Elijah did that day.

I love God's answer for Elijah. He's not worried that evil will triumph over good. He's not concerned that his people (according to Elijah) are going to be wiped from the earth. He replies, "Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him." (I Kings 19:18)

Seven thousand. And Elijah thought he was the only one.

Recently, God has been showing me the seven thousand. He's shown me that there are Christian doctors and nurses. He's shown me that there are people who truly care about others. He's shown me that I am not alone in following Him - that some of the seven thousand were around me all the time, only I didn't realize it.

This morning the three of us went to church with the doctor I'm working with. It was good to be with God's people. Afterwards, we stopped at the hospital to visit one of Avee's patients who has been having a rough time. She's only in her 40s and she's had six surgeries in the past four years due to many complications. Avee wanted to sing to her and she invited Tracy & I to join her. It was such a blessing! Please pray for this dear lady - that God would completely heal her and that He'd show Himself strong in her life.

God is good and I'm looking forward to what He is gonna do this next week.

Janine

Do we know the power and grandeur of our God in our day? Does our generation comprehend that the God of the Bible is without "shadow of turning" and that He is "the same yesterday, today, and forever"?

Could it be true that God has really lost His muscle? Maybe it would be more accurate to say God lost His men. (p. 125, Wrestling Prayer)

About delivering babies

2009-07-16T23:10:00.006-04:00

Today was an awesome day. First of all, it started at 9am...yay for sleeping in! I had a great time in the morning with God before going into the hospital. :)

We had clinic all day today. I've started doing complete OB/GYN histories and physical exams with the doctor supervising as needed. I've really enjoyed just spending time with my patients and talking to them about whats been going on in their lives. As a student, I love having the time instead of rushing from one patient to the next. And my preceptor has to keep it short cause she had 63 patients today!

Since there was a girl in active labor, we stayed for the delivery. We had seen her yesterday in the clinic and had done some things in the office to help the process along. During the day we'd be checking on her and I got to see her get an epidural (very interesting). Finally at 1730 we were called up cause she was ready. On the elevator up to L&D the doc asked who wanted to catch the baby and I volunteered. :D When we got to the room, we rushed in, put on sterile gloves/gowns/etc. and got ready for the baby to be born. Less than five minutes later, I was holding a beautiful baby boy in my arms. :) It was an amazing experience!!! It was also very special that I was able deliver my first baby on the day my Grandpop was born.

Later tonight I was talking with one of my friends. She was happy about my experience and she also had something exciting to share. She's away on a mission trip for the month and has been doing clinics in an underserved area. Today she had the amazing experience of leading someone to Christ. And she was just as excited about that as I was about my delivery.

I was thinking about how amazing God is. I was thinking that he is kinda like my doctor. During spiritual deliveries, He could totally just do it Himself without our help. But He doesn't. Instead, He invites us to be a part of the amazing experience. He shows us what to do and He stands beside us directing us and the delivery. He is completely in control of everything going on and He loves to see our joy in having a small part. He wants us to be excited about delivering souls just like I was excited today. Its so neat!

As promised earlier, I have some pictures to share.

During the weekend, I had so much fun with my friends. We got to go swimming in a saline pool!

We happened to all wear the same scrubs yesterday - so naturally we had to get a picture

Having fun with my new lens. This is outside our apartment

And the best is last! This is the cute little baby I delivered!!! :)

I've been reading more of Wrestling Prayer. PLEASE read it!!! I think I'm gonna end with quotes from it. :)

Your life is all about a kingdom, and true prayer is all about a kingdom. And this kingdom is not your kingdom, but Christ's kingdom being established in your very body...Remove the enemies from your life, show them no pity, and destroy them and preserve your body for your rightful king. (p. 56)

Good night y'all!

Janine

Finally starting OB/GYN!

2009-07-14T22:07:00.003-04:00

Its been a week since I last updated and so much has happened. First of all, I love love love OB/GYN (way more than I thought I would) and Mississippi is awesome.

Since our paperwork took forever to get through, we practiced starting IVs last Wednesday. One of the CRNAs from the OR taught us how and even let us practice on him. After we tried (and failed) starting an IV on each other, the nurses in the Cardiac ICU offered us their arms. I was super excited to start my first IV! As you can tell, the staff at the hospital is really nice and they really want us to learn as much as we can.

On Thursday morning we practiced intubating a dummy. The PA gave us some great tips on doing it and it was good getting the practice. Hopefully tomorrow Tracy is gonna help me with some weight-lifting to work on the arm muscles. :)

In the afternoon on Thursday the real fun began when we got the page that our paperwork went through. After getting our badges, the PA introduced us to our OB/GYN doctors and we jumped right in. I followed the doctor around in the clinic and then, since he was on call for Labor & Delivery (L&D), we would run up and check on the two patients who were in labor. Pretty soon one of the women was ready to push and I got to assist with a little baby boy being born! The doc caught the baby and I delivered the placenta. :) From that moment I knew that this rotation was going to be awesome!

On Friday, I met all the office staff in the clinic. The nurses are so sweet and helpful. During the morning I followed the doctor during his office visits and got to see/feel some neat things.

Because I was done around lunchtime on Friday, I was able to go visit my friends from IPS in Georgia. They have a fun family and it was great visiting with them! And, of course, we went shooting photos. :)

Yesterday I spent the day in the OR assisting and watching four surgeries. The OR is great and it is fascinating to see the inside of a living body. Netter comes to life! I also got to see my first baby girl being born in L&D. :)

Today I was in the clinic all day. The docs are beginning to trust Tracy & I and we're getting to do a lot more. One of the nurses showed me how to find the fetal heart tones and I got to listen to baby hearts via doppler. :)

Hopefully I can get some pictures up soon. Thanks so much for all your prayers! Although I miss all my family and friends a lot, I'm so glad to be here and to have this awesome opportunity! God bless!

Janine

P.S. Last night I started reading Wrestling Prayer: A Passionate Communion with God by Eric & Leslie Ludy. Even after reading just the first chapter, I would highly recommend this book!!! I might post something one here later but in the meantime, go out and read it!!! :)

Words of the Day

2009-07-07T18:30:00.003-04:00

Ultrasound
Pigs Feet
Knots
Scrubs
Clean

First day of rotation!

2009-07-06T17:18:00.005-04:00

Today is the day I've been looking forward since I started PA school four years ago. Today was my first day of clinicals. :) Although I'll be doing OB/GYN, I didn't do any of that today. Tracy, Avee, and I shadowed the main PA who works in CT surgery. Too bad I didn't review my heart anatomy before I went. The hospital we'll be at is super nice and most everyone we met is very sweet (after all - it is the south and not Philly).

In the afternoon the PA was called up to assist in a pericentesis that wasn't going so well. When we got there, the pt's blood pressure was dropping and then he coded. It was very neat to see a code on the first day! It was also cool to see the PA pretty much take charge of the situation. The doctor who was doing the pericentesis didn't really look like he knew what to do. Fortunately, they were able to save him and finish the procedure successfully by removing 600cc of fluid.

We were able to get into our apartment (PTL!) but I still have to get unpacked. The place we're staying is really nice and I'm sure we'll enjoy the time we get to spend here!

Tracy & I after our first day.

Avee & her guitar. Since she didn't want to leave it in the hot car, she asked to leave it inside. Maybe she could do some music therapy when she has a break from surgery! :)

Day Two

2009-07-05T23:36:00.010-04:00

750 miles and four states later I finally arrived in Vicksburg, MS. Avee & I had a fun day traveling. Although it was long, we had a good time.

Highlights of the day include

Charlie the cat
Waffle House
Lightening bolts
Otto Koning
Apartment keys

God is so big. We drove through two awesome thunderstoms complete with dark clouds, blinding rain, massive thunder, and of course - the electrifying lightening bolts. Although it was a little scary driving on a major highway with the big trucks, God protected us and showed us His power all at the same time. Very cool.

This is Avee with our VA family's cat, Charlie. I am not a cat person at all but this cat is so cute and I love her!

Our travel guide, Kiki. Awesome Australian accent.

Trying to get into our apartment. Since none of our keys worked, we had to get a hotel by the battlefield for the night till we can get it straightened out tomorrow.

Tracy & Avee at the Mexican restaurant Tracy found. Great food - gotta love the quesadillas con pollo!

Having fun in the car. mirrors + camera = happiness.

Tomorrow morning we start at 7am. So exciting!!! Can't wait to see what my God is gonna do!

Day One

2009-07-05T00:16:00.007-04:00

Avee & I have had a super fun time so far! She has been an awesome traveling buddy and its been great. :) Cracker Barrel. DQ. Long talks. Fun times. We spent the fourth with a sweet Southern family in VA and even got to see some awesome fireworks. God is so good!

Tomorrow we have a 12ish hour drive so I'd appreciate your prayers!

This is me and Avee before we left

A few shots of the fireworks :)

Mississippi

2009-07-04T10:12:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in the last post, I believe that God has exciting plans for my life. One of those plans is for me to go to Mississippi! I will be leaving shortly to drive down to Vicksburg to start my first clinical rotation in Women's Health (OB/GYN). I'm very excited about what I'm going to learn and how God is going to use me there!

Please be praying for me! I'm driving down with my friend, Avee. Another friend, Tracy, will be meeting us there. I'll try to update often to let you know how life in the South is. :)

God bless!

Janine

A Perfect Plan

2009-06-28T17:04:00.003-04:00

Who do you believe God is?

Is He distant - or maybe nonexistent? Does He care about your life? Is He someone to whom you come to bless your plans? Or is He the one you believe forces you to follow His plan?

I believe that God is big. And I believe that He is good. I believe that He is the author of my life story and His plans for me are way bigger than I could ever imagine.

I don't believe these things about God because I'm just idealistic and religious. I believe them because its what God says. He says: "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (I Cor. 2:9)

There is a stipulation in this verse. God doesn't have amazing plans for everyone. God only prepares great things for those who love Him. Which brings me to another question: what does it mean to love God? How can I love someone I can't even see? And even if I claim to "love God," how does it affect my life?

A favorite passage of mine is John 21:15-17. In these verses, Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him. Yet, Jesus isn't satisfied with asking once. Instead, He asks Peter three times.

First, Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him "more than these." Peter loved fishing. It was not only his occupation (and source of income), but I believe that Peter genuinely loved being out on the water catching fish. Jesus wanted to know if Peter loved Jesus more than fishing. Would Peter be willing to give up fishing for Jesus? Jesus asks me a similar question. Is Jesus first in my life? Would I be willing to give up people, things, or hobbies for Jesus?

Next, Jesus asks Peter is he cares about Jesus. Does Peter have a brotherly love for Jesus? Is Jesus important to Peter? Is Jesus important to me?

Finally, Jesus asks if Peter has a life-changing love for Jesus. Would Peter be willing to give up his entire life for Jesus? Would Peter sacrifice his life for Jesus? Am I willing to give up my life for Jesus? If you read the book of Acts, you know that Peter meant it when He said He loved Jesus. He wasn't just trying to make Jesus happy by telling Him that he loved Him.

So, if I truly love God, my life will show it. I don't pretend to think that I truly love God. I am on a journey learning to love God. I want Jesus Christ to be my passion. I want Him to consume my life.

A life focused on loving God will be amazing. It would be world-changing if we Christians chose to make Jesus Christ our passion and our life.

This is how the disciples lived in the first century. And this what Gamaliel, a "doctor of the law" who wasn't a Christian, said about them: "And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God." (Acts 5:38-39)

I love the fact that nobody can overthrow God's work. It makes me very happy.

God has a perfect, amazing, magnificent, and awesome plan for my life. And He wants to do great things in each of our lives if we will only love and trust Him.

Janine

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Perfect Gifts

2008-11-26T21:27:00.008-05:00

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." (James 1:17)

I am thankful for so many things this year! God has been so good to me and has given me so much! He graciously gave me Christian parents who loved me (more than many children have) and taught me about Jesus. He gave me a Mom who was willing to give up a career in order to stay home and homeschool me. He gave me a Dad who has loved my Mom for over 25 years and who has provided for us. He gave me a sister, Danielle, who is not only a great sister but an awesome friend as well. He gave me two completely adorable brothers, Jonathan and Josh, who aren't so little anymore to challenge me and remind me whats really important. He gave me the gift of salvation when I was only six years old - before I had a chance to turn away from God. He gave me so many amazing friends that encourage me so much. He gave me a wonderful church family who are always there for me and are praying for me. He gave me the opportunity to go to PA school (yes, that is a blessing...even during the tough times!). He gave me the opportunity to go on mission trips to Honduras and Mexico (and Mexico again in January!). And the list could go on and on. He gave. . .He gave. . .He gave.

Yet when I read this verse in James, I was convicted because there are some things in my life that I'm not especially grateful for. Although I wasn't upset or angry at God about them, I definitely wasn't thankful.

So I began to think. . . What if I decided to get Danielle a special gift. What if I spent time looking at different stores to find the perfect thing. What if I spent a lot of money to buy it. What if I wrapped it in pretty paper and decorated it with a beautiful bow. What if when I gave it to her - at the perfect time - she handed it back to me and told me "thanks," but she didn't really want it. How would I feel? How does God feel?

Sometimes I think I just need to endure through hard times that God gives me. I tell Him "thanks" - but I really don't want the gift. And He knows it.

What am I telling God? That I know what I need better than He does? That He doesn't know whats best? That I don't like His choice of gifts?

When I realized this, I was completely humbled and overwhelmed. What have I done? How could I reject the good and perfect gifts my God, the Father of Lights, has given me?

Since God showed me this, my life has been so much better - even though nothing has changed except my attitude. Even the things I thought were bad now seem special because they were especially given to me by my Father.

I want to live my life knowing that everything is a gift.
I want to live completely content with God's perfect gifts.
I want to live in the joy God intends for those who trust Him.

Election jitters

2008-11-02T20:14:00.003-05:00

In just two days from now, voting will be finished where I live. After the LONGEST campaign season EVER, its hard to believe the election is finally here! :) Although we in America make such a big deal about the importance of voting, its wonderful to know that ultimately, God is in control.

Yet, by watching many of the candidates, one would think they are in control. They plan their campaigns with meticulous effort. They schedule events in states that are deemed most important. They may even construct massive stage sets to give speeches!

I wonder what God thinks of all this. Is he phased by the candidates? Is he anxiously counting up the numbers in the electoral college to make sure the right candidate gets elected? Is he nervous that one of the states might not go the right way?

Obviously not. Instead, God is up in heaven laughing! He's laughing because someone has the audacity to think that he is in control. He's laughing because people are trying to set themselves against God. He's laughing because these "great" and "powerful" people are really not so great and powerful after all.

No matter what happens Tuesday, God is in control. I think that many people are going to be very surprised with the results. I hope that they will see God's prevailing hand on our country. May God continue to bless America!

Janine

"Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision." (Psalm 2:1-4)

My Rainbow...and STEP

2008-05-22T21:28:00.004-04:00

The other day I really wanted to see a rainbow. So I asked God if He could give me one.

Today I took my brother and his friend on a bike ride and it started to rain. As we raced home, the rain cleared up and we saw a beautiful rainbow! I grabbed my camera and took a picture - and here it is...

On Saturday morning, I'm leaving for Big Sandy, TX to be a leader at STEP. I'm very excited about it and I'm looking forward to what God will do. Please pray for me! Thanks!

May God bless you!

Janine

COMMIT

2008-04-05T22:02:00.004-04:00

Today I got back from being a team leader at the COMMIT conference. Wow. These last few days were pretty amazing. Thank you for all who prayed for us! God worked in the lives of many daughters and mothers and it was so neat to see!

Elizabeth, Jocelyn, Charity, Mr. and Mrs. Reed, and all the other team leaders were so encouraging to me! We also had a great time too! :) On Thursday night, Charity described her walk with God and her relationship with Him as her best friend. I realized that although I had experienced this in the past, right now, my relationship with God seemed superficial. I'm so thankful God used Charity to remind me of this and to draw me to Himself!

The awesome team leaders!

My team was amazing - although definitely not what I was expecting. A group of Hispanic girls and moms came to the conference. The girls were bilingual but the Moms only spoke Spanish. Since I know some Spanish, I offered to have these girls on my team. These four girls were so precious! After the first day, I was a bit discouraged since they seemed disconnected from the other people at the conference because of their background. On Friday during the devotional, I shared the testimony of how I got saved with three of the girls (one was only there part of the time). Since the girls had no idea what this meant, I explained the gospel to them. After telling them about what Jesus did, Jennifer and Stefani asked Jesus to save them and come into their heart!!! It was SO EXCITING!!! PTL! During the rest of the time, the girls became more open and willing to share about their lives. Please continue to pray for all these girls that they would be able to stay close to God even in their difficult lives.

Me, my wonderful assistant, Mary, and the girls on my team!

I just want to praise the Lord for ALL that He did this weekend. It was incredible how God worked out everything to allow me to come - and now, I know a little bit why! He is SO GOOD!

Janine

On my own

2008-03-24T22:06:00.002-04:00

Wow, I haven't blogged here in a LONG time! I'm sorry about that and I'm going to try and post more often. If you read my blog, please comment and remind me to update more regularly!

I've been busy recently. Trying to balance school, work, family, church, friends, and everything else life brings has been interesting. I'm sure many of you can relate to this! :-) I'm in my last semester as an undergrad student and although I love all my classes, its a lot of work. I have only six weeks left and probably more than 2/3 of the tests, papers, presentations, etc. due. Yesterday I was starting to get stressed because I didn't get much work done during spring break and I wasn't sure how I was going to get everything done...

Then I realized that I was trying to do it myself. I had to write a paper that was due Tuesday. I had to finish my two lab reports. I had to study for two tests. And thats why I was getting stressed out. God is the one who has called me to be a medical missionary and He is the one who promises to complete what He started (Phil. 1:6). I was getting burned out because I was focusing on what God wanted me to do instead of focusing on God.

Last night I was reading Deuteronomy and I came upon these verses, And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, To keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good? (Deut. 10:12-13)

Its not my responsibility to perform up to my expectations. Its not my responsibility to accomplish 48 hrs of work in 24 hrs. Its not my responsibility to attend every social event and to work and to be a full-time student. God just requires me to fear Him, walk in His ways, love Him, serve Him, and keep His commandments. Its so simple and yet I have made it so complicated.

This morning I gave God my time and told Him that He would have to get my work done today. And He did! Much sooner than I would have been able to finish it! Instead of staying up until midnight finishing my paper thats due tomorrow, I had time to exercise and write this blog!

God is so good! And I'm so glad He is always drawing me closer to Him even when I don't deserve His love.

Janine

Sharing our Faith

2007-11-16T14:55:00.000-05:00

Last week I went to the Global Health Missions Conference in Louisville, KY. The conference speakers were excellent and the fellowship with other Christians who are interested in medical missions was great too! For the last breakout session, I chose one called "Whole Person Care" by Sherry Odonnell. Doctor Odonnell challenged us with a question, "Are you a Christian practitioner or a practitioner who happens to be a Christian?"

Since many of you are not into medicine, let me ask you similar questions. Are you a Christian student or a student who happens to be a Christian? Are you a Christian friend or a friend who happens to be a Christian? If we are truly Christians, then that should be our identity. If we don't talk about Christ with our friends, co-workers, family, etc., who will? God gives us opportunities to share our faith - yet, we must use those opportunities He gives us. What kind of friends are we if we are more concerned about what our friends think about us than about their eternal destinies?

This obviously doesn't mean that we should force our friends to become Christians. However, if we never talk about Jesus or challenge them about their spiritual condition, we are not living the way God intends for us.

This week, I'd challenge you to look for opportunities to share your faith with those you know that aren't saved. With Thanksgiving this week, you may see people you haven't seen in awhile. Let's pray for one another that we might have boldness to share our faith with others!

Janine

For Such a Time as This

2007-10-22T20:05:00.000-04:00

The other day in my devotions, I read the story of Esther. This book is so amazing because it clearly shows God's sovereignty over everything. This is an excellent reminder to me right now!!!

Although I've read Esther many times, two things struck me as I read it again. I'd like to share what I learned with you in the hope that no matter what you're going through right now, you would be reminded that God is still in control and you can trust Him!

The first thing I realized was how much time elapsed from the beginning to the end of the book. When I read the Bible, I tend to think that things happen a lot faster than they actually do. The book of Esther begins in the third year of King Ahasuerus (1:3). About four years later, Esther becomes queen (2:16). It's at this point that Mordecai overhears the plot against the king and warns him. And then, about five years go by and nothing happens (3:7) Or, I should say, nothing visible happens...God is still in control and He's still working even though we can't see it. This is a great comfort to me. After reading the Bible, I expect God to answer my prayers right away. However, this isn't how God normally works - even Abraham had to wait many long years before he visibly saw what God had promised.

The second thing I realized was that each of us are come for "such a time as this." Whether I'm at work, or at school, or simply serving my family, I should live for "such a time as this." God ordained each of us to live in the world at this particular time. He ordained the people we would come in contact with. He ordained the situations that we find ourselves in. Because we live in "such a time as this," the warning in Esther also applies to us: if we hold our peace, God will use someone else to do what we were supposed to do (4:14). When we stand before the Lord, He will not be able to say "well done, thou good and faithful servant."

I want to live my life for "such a time as this." Please pray for me that I would use every opportunity the Lord gives me. And I'd love to pray for you too - just post a comment (please let me know if you don't want it published on the blog).

May the Lord bless you! Live each day for "such a time as this!"

Janine

Small Things

2007-09-17T15:37:00.000-04:00

"For who hath despised the day of small things?"
(Zechariah 4:10a)

"And seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not." (Jeremiah 45:5)

Don't you want to do great things in your life? Wouldn't you like to make an impact on the world? I know that I want my life to count for something big. I want God to use me to make a difference on this world that lasts longer than my life. Because of that, I focus on the big and exciting things instead of the small and mundane. However, in from these verses, God reveals that He IS looking at the small/mundane things. Although we may "despise the day of small things," God doesn't.

So, what are some "small things" that we can do? We can be faithful with our finances. As young people, most of us aren't making 50 grand a year! Yet, we must be faithful to wisely use what money God HAS given us. Are we spending our money on ourselves or are we investing it in the lives of others? Do we buy the lastest fad or do we use that money to support missionaries? One great way to keep track of how we spend our money is to simply write down how much we make and how we spend it. I was surprised when I started doing this. I thought that I was giving a lot of money away; however, I found out that I was spending way too much on myself!

Another "small thing" is to use our time wisely. I talked about this in the "Abundance of Idleness" post. If we waste our time, how can we expect to do great things?

Finally, we must be faithful in spending time with God. I love this quote by Hudson Taylor, "Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him." If I don't get up early and seek God's face, why should I expect to do great things later in the day? Even though it may seem like a waste of time to spend time with God, He has promised that those who seek Him will find Him when we search for Him with all our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13).

In conclusion, God wants us to do great things for Him; however, He want us to be faithful in the "small things." It's not wrong to want to do great things for the Lord. He is a Powerful God and He delights to do what seems impossible. Jeremiah 45:5 reminds us, though, that we shouldn't seek great things for ourselves. If we're doing great things to get attention or to better ourselves, God is not pleased. Yet, if we're humbly doing the "small things," God is pleased and He will give us opportunities to do even greater things for Him. May the Lord bless you as you do the "small things!"

Janine

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

2007-09-10T16:37:00.000-04:00

Do you ever think about the complexity of our eyes? I think that its amazing that our eyes "work automatically" to let us see. I've always liked taking pictures and I'm taking a photography class now. I never realized before how much needs to be adjusted just to take a simple black and white photograph. The film can't get too much (or too little) light; the film has to be processed with at least seven steps; the film has to be enlarged and projected onto photo paper with the correct filter, time, and aperture. If one of these steps gets messed up, the photograph will not turn out.

Now, think about how your eye works. Even without looking at the anatomy of the eyeball, its amazing! We see in color vision most of the time and our eyes adjust to the amount of light. We are able to see pretty much everything in focus and we also have a very wide field of vision (especially compared to a camera lens).

I'm not sure how people could believe that something as complex as the eye could evolve on its own...let alone the entire body! After learning more about photography, I am reminded that we are truly "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14)

Janine

"Abundance of Idleness"

2007-08-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

The other day in my Bible study, I came across these verses...

Ezekial 16:49-50 - "Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good."

I was surprised. Whenever I've thought about the city of Sodom and its destruction, I thought about their depravity and their sexual wickedness. I definitely didn't think of pride or idleness as their iniquity! These verses convicted me because I do these same things. I'm so thankful for God's mercy to me!!!

"Abundance of idleness"...I know that I have been idle while keeping myself completely busy. Instead of using my time for profitable activities, I often waste it. Although I don't watch much TV, I do like watching good movies. I must evaluate whether the movie is a good use of my time. The internet can also be a good way to idle away time. I must limit my online time and have a purpose for being online so that it doesn't become a time of idleness.

Our lives are SO SHORT! We must use every minute to its fullest potential so that at the end we can look back with NO REGRETS. May the Lord bless you!

Janine